I am devastated about the bulletins posted by the US Embassy today. Not only because this is just one more blockade in getting Juneau home, but because of the implications and uncertainty surrounding our sweet little girl's circumstances. we have absolutely no reason to believe that her situation isn't a completely straightforward case of abandonment, but after reading the bulletins i feel ill about the whole situation in general. how will we ever ever know for sure what the circumstances surrounding her arrival at the orphanage involved. it is especially unsettling since she is in one of the "blocked" provinces. what in the world is going on over there? i wish i had some idea about anything that is happening. This isn't what we set out to be a part of a year and a half ago.
i am feeling such incredible mixed emotions.
i want juneau home more than anything in the world, but i can't help but imagine that she has a birthmom out there grieving.
i am beyond excited about nova's arrival, but my happiness is so incredibly tainted by the feeling that our family is incomplete. i actually feel like i'm not sure if i can handle having only one of my girls here without knowing what is going to happen to our other baby girl. i know it seems totally selfish to be thinking this, especially considering there are families right now who are facing the prospect of not having any child at all at this point. but i still can't get over that feeling of total loss and emptiness.
Juneau
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6 comments:
Total loss and emptiness is a good way to describe it. What an emotionally exhausting day yesterday. I thought I would feel better today, but I really can't say that...
My feelings exactly!
The whole situation is very sad.
When I read that article on my yahoo page, I thought of you guys. As a fellow pre-adoptive parent, I can say that I've also stood in that pergatory place that makes no sense. I'm so sorry. Take it one day at a time and enjoy your little belly-baby. She can keep you a bit distracted until her sister is home. It will work out.
You have every right to be sad. Juneau is your baby and like any mother you want her home with you. Prayers for you guys that everything will work out in the end.
The entire situation is very sad. It's hard to put in words how it feels. I pray both your girls are with you soon!
We are still waiting for our Hannah! I pray you have a safe delivery and get good I 600 news soon. We are frustrated and sad by the long wait too. THis is totally not what I expected when we signed on approx 18 months ago. We are now waiting 7 months and 4 days for Hannah but who is counting?
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