Post-Christmas update

the blog postings have been sparse this month! We have been pretty busy running around the past few weeks.

I had a GREAT visit back in Ohio with both Cris' family and my family. I spent the first day in Toledo with the Stickley/Matus gang, and had a great time catching up with everyone.


Then over to Willard to see the Saccenti/Alford crew. Everyone was home for Christmas, and I got to visit with all the neices and nephews. It was really a great time. Next year will hopefully mean my trip will be accompanied by Cris and 2 baby girls.

That's right, i did say 2 baby girls. In case you haven't heard the news, 2008 will be bringing 2 additions to the Stickley family! Cris and I found out we are expecting a baby in May, and we are so excited that Juneau will have a sister! We were in a state of shock and slightly overwhelmed for the first couple of months, but we are now pretty much ecstatic as we are in the 5 month of pregnancy, and anxious to have both babies here by summer.

Here is a little ultrasound pic of the baby girl soon to be Nova Joelle!

recovering from the holidays!

well, i survived the cold, and made it back to the rainy season here in Hawaii. It's so funny because on the radio here in the mornings they will say "be careful out there, the roads are really wet". I'm like, 'are you kidding?? warnings for wet roads?'. But i guess if wet is the worst the roads ever get i can kind of understand the warning.

Christmas was aweseome. I spent some time with Cris' family my first day home, and then headed over to meet with some PAP's and AP's in Columbus. It was really cool to finally meet some of the people i already "knew" so much about. Then back to my parents house, which was packed with all 5 siblings, 2 spouses, and 3 grandkids. Next year will be great to add 2 more to the grandkid crew. My mom had bought these little electric bumper cars that little kids can actually ride in, and they were zipping all over the house in these crazy little things.

In adoption news, our agency director is headed over to Vietnam the first of the year to visit the orphanages and get the scoop on what's happening. We are hopeful that her trip will bring great news for our family. I can't wait to hear all about the little girl who will become our daughter next year!

Nothing really new in preggo news. I had my formal ultrasound yesterday (my friends and i had already done like 1 million ultrasounds - cris is afraid we're gonna fry the baby), which confirmed it is indeed a baby girl (sorry cris! you will remain the only male figure amidst me, juneau, nova, -- and summit and sherpa--our dog babies). Everything looked great, and she is growing right on target. Her movements are becoming very obvious now, and it is extremely weird. I jump everytime she moves. I imagine i'll probably get used to that. or at least i hope i do!

and in yucky news, i'm back to work. not that i don't like work, but i was really enjoying doing absolutely nothing at all for the last few weeks.

I know i need to post some pics, but i'm at work and no camera or cord, so i will post some soon. I've really really enjoyed all of the adorable and amazing Christmas pics my blogger buddies have posted!

the big news!

I'm leavin' for the airport in less than an hour, so this is a quickie post, but i couldn't leave everyone hanging until tuesday, when i will be back in blogger land.

2008 will be bringing special additions to the stickley family x 2!!!

During this long wait for the little june-bug to come home, we found out we will be adding another little one to the stickley clan. This was a HUGE suprise, and still hasn't totally sunk in. We've known for a little while, but wanted to wait to tell to be sure everything was ok. then, when we were ready to announce the big news, we lost our referral, and everything seemed to fall apart. But, now that things are settling down a bit, we are excited to announce that Juneau will soon have a sister!

I'm just about 19 weeks, and due May 13th. It's been an overwhelming, but great experience!

So, we'll leave you with a little glimpse at the baby girl soon to be Nova Joelle!

Christmas Lunch Vietnamese Style

Yeah!! I'm so excited to finally get to meet some fellow PAP's and AP's! Hawaii's a small little place, and i don't know a single other adoptive family in real life, so i'm soooo excited to finally get to meet Elaine and Jenn! I know there are other Ohio families out there, so I hope we can make it a bigger get together. Who doesn't need a trip to columbus to complete their holiday shopping?!

And I LOVE Elaine's idea for the title of the get-together "Adoption Angst Regional Gathering". Suits me just perfectly.

So, anyway, if you live near Columbus, make a little trip down to meet for lunch at 12:30 on Wed, Dec 19. It will be awesome. promise.

Also, there were some really great comments on my last post. i really appreciate the ideas. To clear things up, our agency director said "no way, absolutely not, are you completely insane?" to the idea of taking some other families baby. thankfully. That would really really suck. That probably means we have a way to go to get our new referral paper-ready, but that's cool. i can live with waiting a few more months, as long as we get her home. and hopefully before the year 2020. In spite of the the drama, I really like the director. She's a smart, independant, single mom, and she's just a cool lady. I think she had no idea about our individual situation until last month (she really didn't have a reason to be involved before then), and i really believe now that she's involved things will be better. So, i guess we'll see. Still approaching with caution, but at least not hopelessly.

oh, also i can't wait to post the picture of the present i am making for my fellow residents. you guys are gonna freakin' love 'em.

and, also i have other big humongous news.....(cliffhanger!!!) so check back this weekend.

The Meeting

Yesterday was the meeting with our adoption agency to figure out where to go from here.

To summarize, the director of the agency will be going to Vietnam the first week of January. She wants to visit the orphanage director, and the children, and try to figure out what went wrong, and how to prevent it next time. She said the orphanage director feels very horrible about the error, and is anxious to rectify the situation.

The other big news is that they have already identified a baby for us. We don't know anything at all about her. We asked her to please wait until she had all of the paperwork ready to go, and was totally sure everythign was perfectly in line before she gave us any information. we don't know how long that will be, but we should have more information after the director gets back from her trip in January.

We both feel pretty good about the meeting. We are not really anxious to rush the process at all, as we don't want to risk any errors, so we are ok with waiting however long it takes to get her paperwork ready before we find out any info about her.

Otherwise things are going well. Betsy and I are leaving on Sunday to come to Ohio for a visit. Cris will be holding down the fort and watching Summit and Sherpa until i get home next week.

The Meeting

i think it went pretty much exactly as i thought it would. This time there was considerably more kicking under the table. Cris looks at things much differently (and by differently i mean more positively) than i do sometimes. I kind of feel like the Agency made a huge mistake. We hired them to do a job, and paid them lots and lots of money, and yet they still failed miserably. And i know for a fact, if i messed up at work as miserably as they did at their job i would have serious consequences for that, as would most people. Cris, however, feels like it's water under the bridge. They made a mistake, lets move forward and try to fix it next time. Darn those positive thinkers.

Soooo, down to the important stuff. The first thing she said is basically "i'm leaving for Vietnam in 3 weeks to work on your situation". Once again I felt like this should be a given, she should be in Vietnam working on our situation. Cris thought "isn't that great! She's going to Vietnam to fix the problem herself!".
I still don't have much info about what happened. I guess i don't really care because it can't be changed. Supposedly the orphange director did give our referral to another family. At first i didn't see how this could be possible. We had our referral for 6 months! we had signed a letter of acceptance that went straight to the DIA. But then she basically said that after the orphanage director told her the news, he offered to take a "paper ready" baby that had already been referred to another family to give to us so we didn't have to wait so long. so that's starting to make a little more sense. maybe the same thing happened with our baby. But honestly, who really knows. i think it would border on impossible to actually find out what happened. Too many intricacies of the process. Too many areas to mess up.
I did tell her that i wasn't completely satisfied with that answer, as it seemed like there were other areas of the process that could have contributed to the break down. My main concern is the in-country facilitator. What in the world was she doing for the last 6 months? I said that whenever we requested specific information, like "where EXACTLY is our daughter's dossier" we got the run-around. She said she has already addressed this problem, and that is part of what her trip is for, to go over in detail what she expects of the facilitator.
Also, about the license, since there has certainly been some confusion. I asked for physical evidence of a license in Thanh Hoa, as the agency is only listed as being licensed in Quang Nam, and supposedly they have had their Thanh Hoa license since Jul 25. She said she will provide it.
(by this time she and I are not really BFF's).

So, the good news. They supposedly have a referral for us. But (per our request) are not going to really tell us anything about her until things have really moved along. I don't know when that will be, and i'm really not stressed about it at all. I now realize that whether we see her picture now, or in 3 months, the wait for travel will be the same, so i would rather see it later rather than sooner. The director will be visiting her in the orphange when she goes in January and will take some pictures etc. So i imagine they will have a lot more info in January.

Oh, also she is in Thanh Hoa. AAAAhhhh, scary. At first i was like, "Absolutely not". But then she said basically that in this situation the orphanage director is anxious to right a wrong. That because he knows about our situation he has personallly promised to help move the paperwork along at a reasonable speed, and be sure everything is done perfectly. Who knows if that is true, but it might help. I asked her to please check into Quang Nam to see if there would be any referrals from that province (which has only had 2 referrals this year), and she said she would.

So, that's basically it.
off topic, As for the question about why do a GYN residency if i want to do lipo? Excellent question! I should have done a plastic surgery residency. But i didn't know that's what i wanted. AND i do love love love ob/gyn. But i've finished almost 3 years of residency, and plastics would be another 7-8 years of making very little money and working my butt off. So, i looked into ways to get trained in doing surgery other than GYN surgery. Incidentally, i found that a large portion of "cosmetic surgeons" who are performing lipo/etc. are Dermatoligsts (not surgeons at all!) and Ear nose and throat guys (surgeons, but of course of the face). As gynecologist we already operate in the lower abd every day! It's our specialty area. So basically lipo is just expanding a procedure in an area we already know really really well. Plus, patients ask for it all the time. They usually feel really comfortable with their GYN, and i think would love it if we could be trained to do other procedures they would like to have. so, that's how that happened.

Anyway, sorry for the longest post of all time! thanks for following along!

Update tomorrow

Hello all, sorry for the absence. Things have been a little crazy. After the devastating news, and the thanksgiving holiday, everything got really busy. Cris finished his very last written final EVER yesterday! Since moving to Hawaii he has been pursuing his PhD at the University of Hawaii. With the class portion of his degree finished he will now be focusing full time on his research and dissertation, along with teaching his normal classes.
Late last night i returned from a weekend conference in Las Vegas. It was a great conference, focused on "cosmetic gynecology". Basically hosted by OB/GYN's who have been driven out of their normal practice by malpractice lawsuits, and very poor insurance reimbursements. These OB/GYN's are now concentrating their skills in the cosemtic realm, doing things like liposuction and tummy tucks. It was certainly an interesting perspective.
Las Vegas was FREEZING cold (at least to this hawaii girl), and is making me think twice about my trip to Ohio next week, where i might actually die of coldness.

On the adoption front, we finally have a meeting with our agency arranged. We will be meeting with them tomorrow at one o'clock. We have no idea what they will tell us, or where we will be going from here, but we will be sure to update the website when we start to figure it out.

back to the sunshine

we got back from our conference late last night. Vegas was a blast. I'm not much of a gambler (i hate setting money on FIRE)! but i did a little. unsuccessfully. And, it was so, unexpectedly cold. I thought Nevada was warm, even in the winter, but it was FREEZING! it made me think twice about my upcoming trip to Ohio, where i might actually die of coldness. It's really funny that I've grown up and lived in cold, snow, icy, northeastern ohio my whole life, and now i can't stand the idea of it.

Anyway, the conference was awesome. The field of medicine is changing soooo much. Malpractice lawsuits, and poor insurance reimbursements are forcing physicians out of their normal fields, especially OB/GYN's. This conference was basically for OB/GYN's who have decided to leave the traditional field, and practice cosmetic gynecology. This includes things like liposuction, tummy tucks, vaginal rejuvenation, etc. It means not working 100 hours/week, not being on call 24 hours a day, and not getting sued for 5 million dollars for doing the best you can under these circumstances. I have always like plastic surgery, but had a bit of a different vision for what my life would be like. Residency has kind of skewed my initial vision, as i deal with hundreds of entitled, difficult, ungrateful patients. There are of course the patient's who make this job totally worthwhile, and that is the part that i love, but it gets really stressful at times. And you are always on edge, afraid to do the "wrong thing". anyway, Cosmetic gynecology could provide me with a lifestyle (40 hrs/week and no call!) that would allow me to actually be a mom, and not just some random lady that shows up at the house sometimes. so, that may be the career path i pursue after finishing residency. who knows though.
My meeting with the agency is set for one o'clock tomorrow. I'm nervous. i don't know what is going to happen. The email i got only a few weeks ago saying we had lost the little girl we dreamed was our daughter somehow seems so distant. i am so anxious to see what they have to say. i can hardly stand it.

MotherMotherOcean - if you read this and have a chance to email me today i would love to hear from you. I know you might have a little info about our agency, and i am really interested to be armed with everything i can before we go in there. please email me if you can! crisandemilie@yahoo.com.

new meeting time

well, today isn't the day we get any info. Yesterday the agency people emailed and asked if we could meet either Friday or next week b/c they were following up on some things from the Summit and may have more info next week. Sure. So the meeting will be sometime next week (probably wednesday).
In the meantime, I've gotta pack for Vegas (which also involves cleaning my house, which i am dreading).
So, hang on to those good thoughts for out meeting until next week.

busy month ahead

December has officially arrived, and we are ready for a busy month! We've got our Christmas tree up, and our little house decorated.

On Thursday night I leave for Las Vegas with 2 other residents to attend the much anticipated "Cosmetic Gynecology" conference.

After returning from the conference on Monday, i work for another week, and then I am off to Ohio. I'm already trying to figure out if i have anything warm enough to even wear on the plane, much less to last me a whole week in the coldness. I guess my sisters will have to dress me out of their wardrobes while i am home.

Then I come back to Hawaii on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas day with my wonderful husband (Cris won't be making the trip back to Ohio).

So lots to look forward to.

Tomorrow we have a meeting with our agency director. I'm quite anxious to see how that goes. I really hope she is willing to take responsibility for what happened. I hate when the agencies always find someone else to blame for whatever problems arise. I guess I've pretty much come to the conclusion that an error could have been made by the orphanage director, but I do believe it is our in-country facilitor's error that led to a 6 month delay in us finding out. So, I guess we'll see what she has to say. We still don't know what to do from here. A lot of the money we've paid is "non-refundable" (although in this situation i believe it would be a huge mistake for them not to refund our money if that is what we request). Worse than losing the money is the prospect of going to the bottom of someone's 2 year long wait list. The idea of that makes me want to cry right now. Ultimately, I don't think the agency did anything necessarily "unethical", depending on how you define unethical. There was no harm or wrong done to the child, and no illegal money changing hands, no falsifying of paperwork. I think it was more just ignorance, or dare i say stupidity, that led to our heartbreak. So the issue is more can we trust them to try again, or should we just leave everything we've invested for the last 15 months and start all over again. I know lots of people would probably abandon ship and find a new agency, i just can't even fathom going back to the beginning. So, hopefully I'll have some more answers tomorrow.

In other news, the "gyno-girls" (my class of OB/GYN residents is a group of all girls!) new edition of the annual holiday greeting card is out. Unfortunately, i don't have Year 1 on my computer, but perhpas you can imagine Charlie's Angels with speculums instead of guns.

Year 2

Year 3

Hanging in

We were so fortunate to have 4 days away from work to spend time together and try to figure out what in the world happened. We enjoyed 3 great thanksgiving day meals with various friends around the island, and then had some major retail therapy on Black Friday.

We continue to be amazed by the support and encouragement we have gotten from the online adoption community. It is difficult for our friends, and even our families to grasp the depth of what we are going through. It is hard to understand how much that little tiny pictures means until you've held it in your hand. Our homes and offices and wallets are plastered with the few pictures that we own. Our dreams for the last 6 months have been built on these photos. It is a hard emotion to convey to someone who hasn't been there. I am beyond grateful to the families who have thought of us during this really difficult time. The comments on our blog, and the emails i have gotten have been the greastest source of support. so THANK YOU!!!

The one thing we have found comfort in is that this sweet baby we have already grown to love will have a home and a family. This is, of course, our ultimate wish for these little ones. We truly believed we were her family, but we are happy that she will have someone to love her. I know a time will come when we finally get our child home, and we will not be able to imagine life without the one God sends us. Many of you have emailed me your stories of lost referrals, and it is encouraging to know that there will eventually be a happy ending to this sadness.

We don't have any more information surrounding the circumstances of our lost referral. Our agency director is at the Summit in DC, and will return next week. We plan to meet with her next week to try to get some questions answered. We will certainly keep you all posted about that.

I did finally break down and buy a plane ticket to Ohio for the holidays. I am so excited to finally see my family and have a relaxing week at home (if i can relax in the freezing cold...I'm spoiled in this hawaii weather!!)

lots of love to everyone out there who has been thinking of us! We are blessed to have this support!

Sad News

We are very sad to have to write this entry.

Last Tuesday we were contacted by our agency to inform us of a terrible problem with our adoption. Apparently, the baby girl that we saw for the first time on May 29th was promised to another family with a different agency, as well as to us. From what we know at this time the Orphanage Director (who is reponsible for matching the children in the orphanage to the families) made an error and matched her with 2 families. The mistake was only caught last week, as the paperwork was nearing completion. We are not sure how this happened, or how it went undectected for so long. For whatever reasons, our referral has been removed and the child assigned to the other family. We are grateful that this sweet baby girl will have a family to love her and care for her. We were just so sure we were the family.

The holiday weekend allowed us 4 days to spend away from work, and talk about what had happened, and where to go from here. We are still very confused and heartbroken about the whole situation. The director of our agency is at a nationwide adoption conference this week, but we will be meeting with her next week to talk about what happened, and what options we have.

We continue to feel that adopting a child is the right step for our family, and we are anxious to find out how we can continue to pursue this.

We do have faith that God has a plan for our family, and that He knows the perfect child for us. Thank you to all of our family and friends who have followed with us in our journey over the last 6 months and we hope this journey, though longer and harder than we had ever anticipated, will eventually bring us together with the child He wants for us. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers in the past as well as in the coming months!

sad day

we lost our referral today.

it seems she was promised to 2 families, and i guess we drew the short straw.
we are, of course, devastated.

please be respectful and don't leave any remarks about agencies and ethics.

Go Buckeyes!!

as promised, here are our halloween pics, with our very own local Princess Leia's. (the little Leia is our adorable neighbor, also seen with Cris and her brother, Darth Vader. The grown-up Leia is my little sis).

A happy day was had in the Stickley household yesterday, as Ohio State was victorious over Michigan. We celebratd in the usual fashion with an 8 foot inflatable Brutus gracing our front lawn.
No news on the adoption front. I will be calling or emailing the agency before Thanksgiving if i haven't heard anything by then.

I also included a photo of a recent package we received from my mom. She has devised some pretty creative ways to pack as much as possible into a "flat rate" mailer. It's pretty impressive how much she can fit in one of those little boxes. I got a kick out of this one when i received it. It was practically bursting at every seam.

we also received an awesome package from the Matus Gang, highlights included Juneau's very own personlized license plate, a Buckeye Pez dispenser, and a box of the much sought after CoCo Wheats, which cannot be found anywhere on this little island!

Go Buckeyes!!

Here are some very late Halloween pics, with our very own local Princess Leia's. The little Leia is our adorable neighbor (with cris and big brother, Darth Vader). The grown-up Leia is my little sis, Betsy, who is staying with us to go to school at UH.

A happy day was had in the Stickley household yesterday, as Ohio State was victorious over Michigan. We celebratd in the usual fashion with an 8 foot inflatable Brutus gracing our front lawn.

No news on the adoption front. I will be calling or emailing the agency before Thanksgiving if i haven't heard anything by then.

I also included a photo of a recent package we received from my mom. She has devised some pretty creative ways to pack as much as possible into a "flat rate" mailer. It's pretty impressive how much she can fit in one of those little boxes.I got a kick out of this one when i received it. It was practically bursting at every seam.

on a lighter note

Still no news from our agency. We were hoping to hear something by last Friday, but still no word.
On a lighter note, I though I would post some Halloween pictures. We had an abundance of Star Wars characters running around our neighborhood. In fact we had a Princess Leia under our very own roof, and a younger version right across the driveway. My little sister, Betsy, made a great Leia, and her customers at Starbucks seemed to enjoy her costume. Our little neighbor also made an adorable Leia.
(having some technical difficulties with this site getting the photos posted...will add them later)

in for the long haul

edited: see bottom of posting

Well, we had the meeting. It was kind of weird, actually. We arrived at the agency, and our Vietnam coordinator came out to meet us. Then she told us that she wouldn't be in the meeting at all, but that the CEO lady would be conducting the meeting. I still am not quite sure why, as she was sitting in her office the whole time. Anyway, The CEO is nice. I sort of knew her already (although we had never met), because she is engaged to one of the attending physicians at the hospital. She sort of new me, because she saw me participate in the New Kids on the Block Dance routine a few months back...which reminds me i never posted video! I'll try to remember.
Anyway, I think i did pretty good with my mean problem. Cris only kicked me under the table once.
So, new info. Well, there basically isn't any. The most frustrating part of the meeting is that we still can't send off our I600, because apparently the documents for Juneau aren't ready. I was floored. How can they not be ready? All of the documents are a part of her dossier. The orphanage has 30 days to compile the dossier (the very very first step in the whole timeline between referral and travel!). These 3o days should have been up in June or July. How could we possibly not have the documents! That means she doesn't have a dossier, and if she doesn't have a dossier, that means we are basically starting all the way from the beginning. 6 months in, with no dossier? Well, to clarify, i guess there are a couple of documents that don't have to be submitted to the DOJ with her initial dossier that are required for the I600, so POSSIBLY she does have a dossier that is being processed, but we still need these other documents. So, i guess the CEO lady sent the in-country facilitator to Thanh Hoa to figure out what in the world is going on.
ALERT!!! this is a personal concern I have. There is no basis for it. I'm not trying to start rumors, just expressing my own fear. The memorandum of understanding is up as of March 2008. This means the US govt will be re-evaluating the situation, and decide wether they want to renew the memorandum and continue with adoptions, or discontinue. We are terrified that the MOU will not be renewed, and that this will be the opportunity the US Govt is waiting for to shut the doors to Vietnam. We have got to get our baby home before March 2008!! I never thought travelling this late would even be a possibility, but as we are now 6 months in with no travel, and at least another 60 days (that is if we ever get the documents for the I600!) after that, we are already in February or so. That is only 1 month from march.
sorry for all the boring info. of course, it's not boring to us, we live off of every little tiny detail of what is happening with our paperwork.

edit: in case you don't read comments, i wanted to post here so i don't spread any false info. I posted above that the Memorandum of Understanding (the bilateral agreement) was up for review in March. If you check out my comments i think e. and Jenna have a little more up to date info. It looks like the agreement will be reviewed in March, but no decisions finalized until summer. Good news!

Agency Update

We met with our agency today - a much anticipated meeting since hearing about the new changes. We spoke with the CEO of the agency for about an hour. She had previously not been involved directly with our case, but due to the delays we have been experiencing, she has now stepped in.

Some of the time was spent discussing the overall status of Vietnam adoptions. Unfortunately, not all adoptions that take place in Vietnam are completely ethical. This is not only the case in Vietnam, but in other very poor countries, such as Guatemala. Birthmothers who live in poverty have been approached by "child finders", basically soliciting them to give up their child for a set amount of money. This situation is, of course, devastating to hear about. It really confuses things in international adoption, because the orphanages are filled with true orphans, who have no parents, and no home. However, when the birthmothers are paid to relinquish their children, the U.S. and Vietnamese governments have the responsibility of figuring out which children are truly orphans, and which children have arrived at the orphanage illegally. Much of the responsibility also falls on the adoption agencies. The agencies must be 100% committed to working only in legitimate orphanges, and not participating in bribing the orphanage officials and government agents in order to falsify the paperwork, or move the paperwork along more quickly.

Not all cases of problems with adoptions are based on unethical situations, however.
To read a story about a family who had to return home without their daughter click here Bring Home Eden.

Anyway, more about the agency meeting.
We didn't get a whole lot of new information quite yet. What we did find out is that we will definately not be able to travel this month, under the old I600 rules. We will need to submit the paperwork under the new rules. Unfortunately, the paperwork is not quite ready to be submitted. The in-country facilitator has flown from Saigon to Thanh Hoa (where Juneau's orphanage is) in an effort to gather all of the required documents for the processing of the I600 (there are about 10 documents required). Hopefully this will be completed in the next week or so. We will then begin the 60 day wait to recieve approval. There is a chance the approval could take much less time, but we are planning on the full 60 days. Realistically, we believe the I600 can be completed, translated, and arrive in Saigon by Dec 1. In that case, we will be travelling sometime in February.

The new concern that we have is that the US Government will be concerned enough about the current state of adoptions in Vietnam that they will again close the doors to Americans. The current agreement is valid until March 2008, at which time there will be a re-evaluation of the current system, and possibly no renewal of the agreement. We never imagined that we would not have Juneau home by Christmas, and the delays have been terrible. Now we are hoping and praying to have her home before March.

We should be getting updated information on the status of our I600 and the required paperwork within the next few days, since the in-country coordinator has flown to Juneau's orphanage specifically for that purpose. Hopefully this means new pictures too!

Many Thanks!

We had a long talk with Cris' parents last night, and got filled in a little on the hometown news. Everything from a fire in the cornfield to the Milton football team. But the most amazing thing was hearing all about the support we have been getting from our friends and family back home. We are so grateful for the prayers, good wishes, and appeals to the government regarding our situation. We are still hoping for a miracle of having our little girl home for Christmas. Thank you all for taking the time to listen to our story, and help out in any little way! We feel blessed to have a family and community who care so much about us!

We haven't heard anything new from the agency or the government. We have a meeting with the adoption agency on Wednesday morning to discuss the status of our case, and hopefully get a better idea about exactly what is going on. Part of our frustration lies in the lack of communication with our agency. We basically have no idea who's desk in Vietnam our paperwork is sitting on, and what has caused this big delay. We hope to get more information about the specifics on Wednesday. We will actually be meeting with the Vietnam coordinator, as well as the CEO of the agency, who is aware of our concerns about the delay in our travel.

I am missing November in Ohio just a little bit. I wouldn't mind a nice hike to see the fall colors. But I'm sure i won't be missing February in Ohio. I don't think icy/slushy roads can really rival a sandy beach. Another thing we've been missing for the last couple of years is fresh produce! I can't convince Cris to pay $1.00 an ear for wilty corn on the cob.

Anyway, we will post more after our meeting on Wednesday.

Thanks again for the prayers and support! We love you guys!

i have a confession.

but before the confession, i want to say "thank you" to all of you for your very sincere good wishes, thoughts and prayers. I appreciate so much the geniune comments from fellow adoptive families out there. It really means a lot to know that we aren't in it alone, and that we have good folks pulling for us. so, thanks!

now for the confession. I am not always nice. In fact, i have a gift (i think most women are born with this gift to a certain extent). A gift to make someone feel like absolute crap, the scum of the earth. Even make people cry with my meanness. this first time i remember using this gift for real was in about the 10th grade. I actually made one of my friend's fathers come to nearly tears because i was so mean (it was over something stupid...he told my friend she could participate in this church drama, and then backed out at the very last minute...and, in case you were wondering, she did attend in the end). I know, where were my parents, allowing me to talk to an adult like this...Trust me, they had no idea at the time, and when they did find out, it wasn't pretty. But anyway, i cultivated this terrible gift. I am now an expert at it. Not just in what I say, and i never ever swear, or even raise my voice. It's more in the manner of delivery. The condescending terriblesness just comes out. I've gotten myself into quite a bit of trouble with this, because i'm not so good at controlling it. It just starts to happen, and i can't stop myself. It is kind of at it's peak right now. I think the frustration with the adoption delays, and the I600, and the impending 6 weeks of travel to the mainland, and my great unhappiness at work right now, are all making it worse and worse. The dilemma for now is my meeting with the adoption agency. I don't want them to hate me (although i think they probably do), and i'm terrified the meanness is going to come out. My husband has already talked to me about trying to control it in the meeting, but i'm so concerned. I wish i could just speak to them rationally, but i don't know if i can. I feel such horrible anger towards them. I know everything is not their fault, but i am still just so angry at the situation, and I do sincerely believe that a lot of it is their fault.

I think the root of the problem might be anger. I'm not really sure. I don't get angry in the typical way. I don't yell, or throw things. I just become mean. Even to people I care about. I actually did enroll in an anger mgmt classs, but then never ended up going. So, i wondered if anybody out there has this problem. Any good suggestions for books or dealing mechanisms. I want to be nice to everyone, and i do believe deep down I am a nice person. And i know you get much farther in life by making friends, not enemies. So I'm not quite sure what to do...

5 months

Yesterday marked the 5th month since our referral. She was soooooo itty bitty back on May 29th. We looked at her picture for literally hours. We are going crazy without her.
I really have lost hope for travel in 2007. We have a meeting with our agency next week, so i'll let you guys know how that goes. Actually, we are meeting with the vietnam coordinator and the "big-dog" head of the agency (she is quite aware that we are dissatisfied with the situation). We are happy about the new I600 changes, we just wish it would have happened either 2 months ago, or 2 months in the future. But really, as long as she comes home, i'm sure it won't matter so much in the grand scheme of things.

Otherwise, no real news. I thinking about trying to go home to Ohio for Christmas, now that it looks like we won't be in VN. I'm just hesitant to make plans "just in case". all the sibs will be home for christmas, so it would be really fun, but i guess we'll have to wait a few more weeks and see if there is any news.

We Need Your Help to Get Juneau Home

We got some bad news a couple days ago. Due to some issues that have been arising in the Vietnam adoption process, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) has instituted a new statute.

Under the current system, the main form (I-600) that has to be processed for an internationally adopted child to be classified as a citizen was processed following the adoptive parents' arrival in Vietnam and an initial meeting with the U.S. Embassy. After that meeting, if everything was in order, the paperwork was processed and about 10 days later, the family had a final meeting with the U.S. Embassy and were free to come home.

However, the problem would arise if any red flags came up during the initial interview. If the U.S. government decided something seemed fishy regarding that child's adoption, they could launch an investigation, significantly delaying the time the family had to remain in Vietnam. Or, worst case scenario, the U.S. government could come back and say the I-600 was not going to be approved and the child could not be classified as a U.S. citizen. By that point, the family has some serious issues because although they can appeal the denial, they have already taken custody of the child - the child can't go back to the orphanage but can't come into the U.S. either.

In order to fix some of these problems, the new statute will require that the initial I-600 processing be done through the mail before the parents go to Vietnam. The forms will be sent to Ho Chi Minh city and processed at the U.S. embassy there. So, if an investigation has to be done to confirm the child's eligibility for adoption, it will take place before the parents arrive in Vietnam. However, this process is projected to require 60 days.

While this is a long overdue change that needs to take place, the problem is that USCIS has decreed that this policy is to be implemented immediately. This means that families (like us) who are right on the verge of traveling will be pushed back at least 60 more days.

Our expected travel has already been pushed back 2 months once and the thought of being delayed another 60+ days is pretty hard to handle right now. Our little girl is waiting for us in an orphanage and we want to get her home by Christmas. That was looking possible and actually pretty likely. However, if we are pushed back due to this policy, that won't happen.

The online adoption community is trying to respond to this change in a way that will help those, like us, who are getting stuck in the middle. A push is being made to contact all of our U.S. senators and representatives to ask them to influence USCIS to implement this new policy over a reasonable period of time to allow a smoother transition for those whose travel plans are imminent.

We are asking you to consider helping us get Juneau home in the follow ways:

1. Contact your Congressmen: If you follow the links below, you can identify your state and you will be instantly provided with contact information for your senators and reps. Taking a few minutes to send an email...or even better, make a phone call...on behalf of adoptive parents may help us get Juneau home by Christmas

Senator http://www.senate.gov/
Congressperson http://www.house.gov/
You just click on the link, then select your state, and their names pop up

2. Pray for our adoption agency and our interactions with them. We have been dealing with a lot of frustrations lately with our agency and what we feel are shortcomings on their part to do everything they can to get Juneau home.

3. Pray for us to handle whatever delays may come. Up to this point, it's been hard to be patient but we've been handling it well I think. At this point though, the delays are going well beyond the range of what is considered "normal" as part of unpredictable international adoption process. We are venturing into the range of being one of those stories you hear about and hope it doesn't happen to you. As a result, we are both starting to get depressed with the whole thing.

One of the biggest issues is also that if we do get pushed back to January or February, it is very likely that due to her work obligations, Emilie will not be able to travel to Vietnam. This is obviously part of a "worst case scenario" for us. (Somebody's going to have to get their passport updated and volunteer so I'm not going to Vietnam by myself)

We'll keep you all updated obviously but any of the above that you could do would be greatly appreciated. We're holding out hope that Juneau will get to celebrate her first Christmas with her family :)

still holding our breath...

but no travel dates. Rumors are flying everywhere about the I-600. Not sure really what to think about it. In brief summary, as of now you apply for an I600 in Vietnam, the investigation happens in-country. The new method is to apply for the I-600 stateside, decreasing the chance that you get stuck in vietnam for an investigation, or worse, a NOID. I think the new way sounds pretty good, but there are also rumors about a 60 day wait once the I600 is submitted. Which, if we submitted our I600 right this second, then waited 60 days, would put us at 7 months between referral and travel.
Makes my brain hurt thinking about it.
anyway, i didn't find out any of this from my rather oblivious agency. I did send them a rather long email on Monday. i will give them some time to process my wordy email, and then see what they have to say.
anyway, our internet is out at home, so i am writing from work. Maybe it will be back up by friday, but i'm not sure. and i really want to get out of this crazy train office. so hopefully i will have some news in the next week or so after my agency addresses my 1 million questions and 5 million concerns.
in the mean time, cris got a great haircut, but i can't post pictures because i have no internet in the vicinity of my camera. but i will. and i will also post pictures of the CoCo wheat we got in the mail, since apparently CoCo Wheat has not immigrated to hawaii from the mainland, and Cris' lovely sister paid $14.00 in shipping to send us a $1.00 box of coco wheat because she loves us so much. in fact, maybe that will be dinner tonight.

a cute little smile

a surprise photo update was waiting for me yesterday. it had only been a couple of weeks since our last one, so i was really surprised to have another 2 pictures waiting for me. AND we have our very first documented smile. Too cute!!!

Still no travel news, but 2 Thanh Hoa families have recieved G&R dates.

Congrats to Gene and Deanna, as well as Beverly and Robert. Both of these families got referrals before us, but hopefully this progress means travel dates are soon to come.

Normally i don't post so much of the photo, at least until we officially have her in our arms, but i couldn't resist posting this adorable face!!!

a wink and a smile

That's right, folks. Our baby girl has learned how to smile. And almost wink. Soooooo cute beyond words. Maybe she knows we are feeling a little down about our recent delay, and needed to see a cute little smile.

still no travel news.....

but the pictures certainly help!

A New World Record

FRANKLIN, Pennsylvania — A Pennsylvania man cast a stone that skipped on water 51 times, shattering the old world record of 40.
Russell Byars' feat happened July 19. He estimated his stone traveled about 250 feet (76 meters).
Before declaring him a record holder, Guinness World Records experts analyzed film of Byars' toss, checking the concentric circles in the water by each skip.
"I actually threw 40 stones that day, but that was the first skip that I threw," Byars told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette newspaper, which confirmed the record with Guinness officials.

another night in paradise....

that is if you consider paradise the big pink hospital on the hill. Another night of call. I'm hoping for a quiet night tonight. In case you were wondering why Tripler is pink, the legend goes that when they built tripler, the white walls kept becoming filthy with the red dirt, so they painted the hospital pink to blend in with the dirt. Perhaps we should consider pink carpet in our house, since the beige carpet is suffering from the same problem.



Cris and I have been super super busy the last couple of weeks. I did get the chance to watch Cris referree one of the college volleyball matches, and that was really fun! Last year he worked a lot with the high school teams, so it's really cool to get to watch him ref for some of the college teams this year.

I am hoping to sneak in a little trip to one of the other islands soon. We are both working a lot of hours, and could certainly use a mini vacation. So far we have only visited the "Big Island", where the active volcano is. Although there was no surface lava flow while we were there, we LOVED the rustic feel of the island, and getting away from the crowds and traffic of Oahu. I'm hoping to head over to Kuaui, the "garden isle" for our next trip. I'm trying to think of some fun things to do to keep us occupied while we wait for Nov/Dec to roll around.

Hopefully everyone enjoys their weekend, and a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Dad Stickley and Coral!!!! We are thinking about you and wish we could be there to celebrate with you!!!!

another night in paradise....

if you consider paradise the big pink hospital on the hill. hopefully one day i'll never have to work another 30 hour shift, and i'll remember these residency days fondly. But for now i'll suck it up, and hope for a quite night.

i'm dealing with our delay ok. thank you thank you thank for understanding and offering support and encouragement. I know many of you have been in this spot, and it truly helps to know we're not the only ones.

One of the reasons i'm so stressed out about this delay is because I am going to be spending 6 weeks in Michigan starting Jan 20. Cris will be here in Hawaii. So what will become of little baby Juneau for these six weeks. So far i don't know. And i'm totally totally stressing. While i'm in Michigan i will probably be continuing to work 80 hours/wk. I think taking her with me (without any other family support- she would need a nanny) is not a great solution. Poor baby June-bug will be getting a mom for 6 weeks, then losing a mom for 6 weeks. I am guilt ridden. I don't know what to do. I think the obvious best choice for her is to leave her home with her daddy, where he can dote on her and devote time to bonding. But i feel like she will never attach to me. I feel like i'll get home and she'll be like "mom-who?". Unfortunately, nobody really cares much about your personal life in residency. Well, they care to an extent, but it's kinda like a "do what needs to be done to finish the program" mentality, so cancelling or changing this trip to Michigan is not an option. I'm sad for her and sad for me, and angry at the situation, since we were supposed to have her home in August. Anyway, enough negativity. I know in the long run, when she is 16 years old and begging for the car keys no one will remember this little 6 weeks apart, but now it seems like the end of the world.

but, my pity party is not so bad when i have been seeing some amazing news! So many referrals and travel dates! This last week has been so great!

Now that I have 2 complete posts of complaining, I will try to think of something interesting or funny to write about next time. Really, life is pretty good right now. it's easy to point out the negatives, but there are many more positive things than I've been writing about.

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

sad...

well, we found out yesterday that our travel has been delayed. We're not exactly sure why, but according to our coordinator we should plan to travel in Late Nov/Early Dec. we are of course somewhat devastated that our baby girl is getting bigger and bigger without her mom and dad. We are trying to stay positive in the face of such sad news. It's very hard to understand why these delays occur, but unfortunately international adoption is notorious for the waiting. So I guess we will be planning to be a family of 3 before Christmas.

The good news, though is that we got an updated photo. Juneau looks so much older than her picture last month! AND the poor baby lost all of that hair! It's so funny because i was just wondering the other day if she was going to keep that full head of hair until we arrived to get her, but i guess not! I still think hairbows are in her future (although cris would probably disagree).

Please be praying for us and our little baby until we can bring her home!

I think her cheeks are definately getting chubbier, and i'm seeing the beginnings of chub on her little legs.

sad

we are delayed. we don't know why. i emailed the VN coordinator a few days ago to ask if we should start packing, and she said "travel will probably be in late Nov, early Dec".
obviously we are really really sad about this news. and frustrated that the agency doesn't seem to think this is a big deal. Their excuse is that we are the first family to be adopting from Thanh Hoa, so it will take a little longer. I think 7 months from referral to travel is more than "a little longer".
trying not to be bitter, but it is coming out anyway.
anyway, i don't mean to be an absent blogger, but you guys have probably all been in this spot, when you don't feel like updating when there is not too much good to say.
i'm trying not to be a debbie downer, but i think if i keep writing right now i will be.
anyway, i'll write more when im in a bit of a better mood.

another "no news" post

nothing new to report on the adoption front. all is quiet. just waiting for that magical phone call to buy 2 tickets to Vietnam, and 3 tickets home. i've spent way too much time daydreaming about our trip. I've already searched out all the hotels. Now the debate is to stay in one of the "westernized" hotels, like the Hilton Hanoi, or to stay in one of the local hotels (the local charm but less modern convenience). I'm kind of leaning towards going with the local hotel, but i guess we'll see how brave i feel when the time comes.
Work is going fine at the Hospital and the University. no news in that dept. either.
Drew and Betsy and both loving their freshman year. We love having Betsy in Hawaii with us, although we don't see her very much between her busy school schedule, and her new awesome job at starbucks (which has some great fringe benefits for family members!) Drew is doing great in his first semester at Zion Bible College in Rhode Island.
I think my mom and dad are probably enjoying their first few weeks of having the WHOLE House to themselves in 30 years!

hopefully we will have some exciting travel news to post soon, or at least some updated pictures in the next week or so!

new photo...

i wanted to put up a little glimpse of the last photo we got of juneau. she's so stinkin' cute.
We had a great holiday weekend, just kind of relaxing, and getting some stuff done.
Cris and Summit both got much needed haricuts, we did some yardwork, housework, etc.

Getting a little anxious for some travel info now that September is officially here, but i have pretty much come to accept that no amount of worry or stress on my part will bring her home any faster. that certainly doesn't mean I'm happy about waiting, just more accepting.

In work news, I am finally off the Obstetrics rotation. I love OB, but i have been on the Obstetrics service for many many months, and I'm ready for a change of pace. Tomorrow I will be on the Infertility service, which is always interesting. The infertility patients as a whole are more educated and determined than any other OB/GYN patients. I often find myself learning a great deal from them, because they do so much independant reading/research. So i'll have to keep on my toes for the next couple of months and put in plenty of my own time with reading/research to keep up!

September is here!

Fall is coming, for those of our family and friends who live in states that have seasons. I can't believe September is already here. I was pretty convinced that by this time we would have gone to Vietnam, picked up our baby girl, and brought her to her new home. We found out a little info from another family whose baby is in our same orphanage. She told us the province is experiencing some non-adoption related governmental issues. There are some new officials that are having a power struggle with the old officials, so no progress has been made in the last few weeks. She also sent me some picutres of Juneau's acutal orphanage! It is so amazing to see the place she is spending her first few months. I am still hoping for travel by the end of the month, but based on the new information we've recieved it may be October. We are still doing ok with the waiting, although there are really hard days. We just feel so happy and blessed to have such a beautiful little girl waiting for us. One of the good things that the lady who sent the photos told us is that there is 1 caretaker for every 2 babies. It makes me really happy that someone is looking after our little girl.

Just a little reminder of her cuteness!

Mom and Dad Stickley sent the cutest package! Perfect for a little Stickley Grandbaby.

And this is the beautiful and special blanket made by Grandma Stickley! It's perfect!

Photos of Juneaus' Orphanage

Tagged

I've been tagged, by Katherine (which is incidentally my middle name...hmmmm...) and Laurie
so i'll jump in the fun

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. When you are tagged, you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged & to read your blog!

K itten Fur - my nickname growing up. acceptable derivatives include furball, furbie, furface, meomeow face, furburator etc...
A dventurer.
T rash TV -My favorite shows are"My supersweet 16", "Real World - Road Rules Challenge", "Flavor of Love, and all spin off shows"
H omeschooled.
E x scrapbooker - basically i suck so i quit
R etro
I ntrovert
N ew mom to be!
E xtra happy to have the day off work today! - some kind of military training holiday

You guys, that was actually really hard.
seriously. it took me a whole episode of "Flavor of Love - Charm School" to finish that little task. Anyway, i'm also breaking the rules for tagging. If you're kiddo is (or was) in Thanh Hoa, consider yourself tagged....Beverly (and Andrea, but i don't think you have a blog). Those are the only people I know so far with a Thanh Hoa baby, so hopefully some will come out of the woodwork!

also, about tv. my family never had a TV growing up. well, actually we had this little black and white tv that only tuned into 1 channel via antenna. When my little brother broke it we never got another one. Until high school, but we still never had cable. that's why it's so weird that i love Trash TV. I always kinda wanted to be a no-tv family when i had kids, since there are so many better things for kids to do than watch tv, but i'm not sure if that will ever happen...

Are you a no TV family? I'd love to hear your comments!

Autonomy

WARNING...potentially graphic images of and about surgery.

ahhh, Friday afternoon. On fridays I am supposed to be in the ultrasound clinic, learning how to do level II ultrasounds. To be frankly honest I hate doing ultrasounds. I can do all the basics, tell you if you've got a boy or a girl. Approximate the baby's weight with a growth scan, and all that good stuff. What I hate about ultrasounds is all the little tiny detailed stuff. Looking at the small vessels in the heart, and trying to measure just exactly how big is that little fold of skin on the back of the neck. you see, that takes patience. which i do not have (although i am learning through adoption). I plan to never do high risk ultrasounds when i am out of residency. There are people trained specifically for that craziness. So often on fridays i play catch up on my leftover work from the week.... or blog. :)

after my last post about the frustration with the c/sections here, a couple of people brought up elective cesarean sections. Right now OB is pretty much my life. I do OB more than i do anything else. I'm at the hospital more than I am home. And in spite of that, i still love to talk about it. so hopefully i don't bore you guys. and if i do bore you, there are like a million awesome posts out in adoption blog world right now, so you can go check those out.

Remember, my point of view is a little different. I'm a resident, so i get paid exactly the same amount whether the baby comes out of the abdomen, or out the "regular" way (which from here on out will be referred to as the vajinga, hoo-ha, or cookie). Also, i am in the military. Which means there is a combination of more rules, and less rules, and none of the rules make any sense.

I get asked to perform an elective cesarean about once a month. mostly by girls about 19 or 20 years old. we call it the "too posh to push" mentality. Hey, if Britney spears can request a c/s, why can't everyone? Sometimes i get asked to do it because the patient is scared. I had 1 lady who had reportedly never been "intimate". no, it wasn't the immaculate conception. she was single, and underwent artificial insemination. Which is great. I'm happy that she is going to be a mom. But she also wanted a c/s. This was a mature, adult, educated woman. She was terrified of pushing a child out. I can actually kind of understand her mentality, but when you think that the alternative is having your abodmen cut open, your muscles divided, your uterus then cut open, the alternative doesn't sound too fun either.

how natural is this??

anyway, i go back and forth on this whole issue. Which brings up the point, to what level do we allow an adult to make their own decision about their medical care. You are allowed to choose vaccinations vs. no vaccinations. You can choose circumcision vs. no circumcision. You can sign up to have implants put in your breasts, or fat sucked out of your butt. In fact, you don't get thrown in jail for drinking vodka, or injecting heroine while you're pregnant. So why not allow a women to choose if her baby comes out of her abdomen or her hoo-ha.

I am a big fan of autonomy, but i don't know where to draw the line. I'm still internally debating this whole issue. So if you have comments, i'd love to hear them.

Lately i guess i think that if someone requests a c/s, and gets very thorough counseling about all the complications...serious ones to include a hysterectomy or colostomy if there is bowel injury, and not so serious ones to include wound breakdown.

If after all the counseling and questions and answers the patient STILL wants a c/s, i guess i'm pretty much cool with that decision.

And to dispel a couple of common rumors about vajinga deliveries

-the act of BEING pregnant contributes more to pelvic relaxation and urinary incontinence, not necessarily the act of delivery

-little tiny 110 pound women CAN successfully deliver 8 and 9 pound babies. I've seen it. so "it's not gonna fit" is not an indication for a c/s. the only way to know if it will come out is to try.

and i guess that's basically all for now.

In an upcoming post, if you're not too tired of cookie talk, Cosmetic Gynecology. And yes, that is an actual specialty, in fact i am going to a conference of Cosmetic gynecologists in none other than Las Vegas in December.

still no travel dates, but I'm suprisingly still pretty relaxed about it. I am still hoping for september, so maybe starting next week i will have some freak out sessions.

In Memory of Katie: 1992-2007

Ever since my darling wife started this blog, she has been trying to get me to post but I’ve been leaving it to her until now. So, what motivated me to finally write a post for our blog?

Last week our family lost a dear member – Our beloved Siberian Husky, Katie.

Katie came to our family in the summer of 1992 when she was just a few weeks old. She was sort of the runt of her litter and was a little more shy than the rest of her brothers and sisters but I chose her over the rest and mom and I brought her home. I couldn’t resist those pale blue eyes. She could almost fit in one of my hands at the time.

Katie quickly became an integral part of our family and I have many great memories of her playful demeanor. In her early years, she would run endless circles around the barnyard with our miniature schnauzer, Timmy in tow. She quickly learned that every time Grandma and Grandpa Stickley’s car came back the driveway that a treat was on its way. She loved being outside, snooping through the barns and digging holes in the yard. And though she grew up in the Midwest, her northern blood came out every time we got a snow storm as she couldn’t get enough of romping through drifts taller than her head. Katie was great with kids, tolerating lots of “abuse” from 2-year-old’s, Alex and Lyndsey who loved her so much they couldn’t help but hang on her, pulling her ears and grabbing her tail.

In recent years, Katie slowed down a lot as the many years of being a farm dog started to catch up with her. When I was home last, I spent an extra minute with her before I left, knowing it was probably the last I’d see her. Despite her growing aches and pains, she still did her best to keep up her spunky spirit. Last Saturday night, Katie laid down in her usual spot by the back step and peacefully drifted off to sleep.

The men of my family will never be known as an overtly emotional sort, but we all have an especially soft spot in our heart reserved for our dogs. That’s why I know that her loss will be hardest for my dad. While most dog breeds respond to having several human masters, the strong pack mentality of huskies usually causes them to see one person as their leader. Though Katie showed great affection for every member of her “pack”, happily accepting attention from every member of our family, there was never a doubt that she always was, first and foremost, my dad’s dog. Given the chance, she always chose him over any of the rest of us. All it would take is my dad putting down the tailgate of his truck and saying “let’s go for a ride” and she was off like a shot. At night she lay in the kitchen waiting for my dad to get home from work so she could see her master and to get her nightly chocolate chip cookie.

It was because of Katie that I learned how great the Husky breed is. Despite their stubbornness and extremely independent nature, it is that free spirit that makes them so endearing. It was Katie’s wonderful personality that led me to end up with my Husky, Sherpa. It was Katie that taught me how much a Husky can enrich a person’s life. Katie will be missed, but the joys she brought to all of us will be remembered…

…I’m going to go hug my dog, now.

i'm back

how bad is it that i haven't blogged in so long i almost couldn't remember my blog address. yeah, i suck. I have been crazy crazy busy. not an excuse, just an explanation. there is all this drama at work surrounding the massive deployments, and there is no staff in this crazy hospital. I am in charge of scheduling and doing all the c/sections, and unfortunately there are currently no anesthesia providers. So i can't give the ladies who want c-sections a date for their delivery, which is leading to mobs of angry pregnant women coming at me from all angles at all times of day and night. it's not fun at all.
but that is probably more than you wanted to know about that.

otherwise life is good. Like everyone else in this little bloggy world i am caught up in the gender selection thing. laurie's post was outstanding, as usual. i read her post and like 6 other posts and all the comments, so i'm kinda tired of reading about it, but i HAVE to throw in my 2 cents because i can't not have something to say. Back when the discussion was all about agency ethics I pled naivity. also not an excuse, just an explanation. I had no clue there was ever even a difference between agencies. same thing with the gender issue. When they asked if we wanted a boy or a girl we said "hmmm..a girl might be nice" so we put girl. and when they asked what age we said "hmmmm...a little baby might be nice". so we ended up with Baby Girl as young and healthy as possible. like 5 million other people.
I'm really not as stupid as that paragraph makes me sound (I somehow made it through medical school for crying out loud). and i really didn't leap into adoption absolutely clueless. i just didn't know about all of these issues. If we backtracked to October 15, 2006, and i knew everything i now know, i don't know if i would make the same decisions i made then.
If (and by if i really mean when) we adopt again we will adopt a waiting child. Suddenly gender, and even age, and even special needs doesn't seem nearly as important as becoming a family. I love that adoptive parents have the ability to choose certain things in adoption. There are so MANY MANY things that we have no control over, and leave in the hands of strangers in this crazy process, that its kinda nice to have a choice in some areas. so i don't really care so much about gender selection. In fact, one day (very soon, since it already happens in other countries) my patients will be requesting gender selection for IVF. And as of right now (although i may change my mind), that doesn't really bother me either.

in other news, we got an update today! yippeee yipeee yippeee
Juneau is 3 months old. She weighs 8lbs 12 oz, and is 22 inches long.
and she is extraordinarily cute.
and i am the luckiest person in the whole entire world.

i'm gonna be a better blogger. honest.
it's just i love reading other people's blogs so much that i spend all my free time doing that, and then i don't have any time to write in my own blog. So stop writing such awesome blogs, and maybe then i will blog more.

by the way i love babies. they are so cute and sweet. and i especially think my own baby is adorable and i can't stop looking at the picture i got today. seriously, you guys. i have to stop looking at her picture and get some work done!

our beautiful girl

Updated photo! We are so excited.

Juneau will be 3 months old tomorrow.

She now weighs 8 pounds and 12 ounces and is 22 inches long.

No news on travel, but hopefully we will know something more soon.

2 families that are with our agency returned from vietnam with their babies last week. One family adopted an infant boy, and the other adopted a 13 month old girl.

cute baby stuff!

one of the best things about bringing home a new baby is all of the adorable baby stuff! last week on the way home i told cris "i hope we have a package when we get home". he was like "why would we have a package? did you order something?" I told him i didn't order anything, but that i loved getting little things for Juneau in the mail. When we got home there was a package after all! from great-grandpa and great grandma Stickley! and it was the most beautiful little handmade blanket. I can't wait to post photos of it. It is so special and sweet. Juneau has no idea that she is about to join a family with the greastest grand and great-grandparents and aunties and uncles. But i'm sure she'll figure it out pretty quickly!

This weekend was also our baby shower, put on by some of the people I work with. We have so many cute little outfits for her, and toys, and books. Her little room is filling up quickly! She now owns everythign from little tiny sunglasses, to little sandals and hairbows!

waiting is hard. really hard. But every day gets us one day closer to having our little girl home. Being separated by lots of land (and even more ocean!) makes it hard not to worry about her. We hope that someone is loving her, and holding her when she cries. We pray that she is getting healthier and chubbier! We pray that she won't get sick. We can't wait for the moment the Vietnamese government approves us to bring her home!

” ….He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge…..He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone…”
Psalms 91

mini-getaway

This weekend we decided to have a little getaway over on the other side of the island. We have been wanting to try out the cabins over at Bellows Air Force Station for a while. The cabins are pretty old, but still in decent condition, and not to bad if you don't mind sharing your space with a 6 inch cockroach! But for $60 the location is totally worth it. Our backdoor was steps away from a crystal clear beach, and although it was kind of rainy/yucky out, nothing beats falling asleep listening to the ocean.


Welcome to Bellows!

Our Little Cabin

View frm the backyard

Fun at the beach

The drive home

mini-getaway

This weekend we decided to have a little getaway over on the other side of the island. We have been wanting to try out the cabins over at Bellows Air Force Station for a while. The cabins are pretty old, but still in decent condition, and not to bad if you don't mind sharing your space with a 6 inch cockroach! But for $60 the location is totally worth it. Our backdoor was steps away from a crystal clear beach, and although it was kind of rainy/yucky out, nothing beats falling asleep listening to the ocean.

Welcome to Bellows!

our little cabin

View from the backyard

fun at the beach

the drive home