geeezzz...such a slacker

that's me. i've become a total blogger slacker. I know it's not really a good excuse, but there's not much to write about these days. No new updates on the june-bug (or, as cris prefers to call her The Juni-nator). She did finally see the doc, but we don't have a medical report to show for it quite yet. She is a month a week and a day today.

We are sending a little package to vietnam for her.
We included - 5 cute cotton onesies, 2 soft blankies, 3 cotton hats, 1 soft rattle, 1 small soft "glow-worm" (remember those things?!!), some candies for the nannies, and a photobook.
The glow-worm was my mom's idea. It plays 6 different lullabyes when you squeeze it. She thought it might be good to have something familiar (like a lullabye) to help soothe her when we first bring her home. We are going to buy an extra glow-worm in case we don't get the orginal back.

As June comes to a close, so does the 2nd year of my residency! Thank goodness! OB/GYN is a 4 year residency, so it feels great to be 1/2 done. The last two years have been a whirlwind of action, including delivering over 500 babies, 50 c-sections, hundreds (probably thousands) of clinic patients, 5 amniocentesis, several hysterectomies...... and lots of other exciting things. The first 2 years are very OB heavy, and the 2nd 2 years are GYN heavy...so lots more surgery this year.
Also, part of the awesome thing about becoming a 3rd year is getting my own office. That's right, ladies and gents, i have my very own office to cram full of pictures of the june-bug.
And while i'm on the subject of residents- Please be kind to your friendly residents. We are stuck in the hospital 80 hours a week, sometimes working 30 hours straight (with no sleepy-time). Sometimes we are tired and grouchy etc....so please keep this in mind before saying "do i have to be seen by a resident??"

in somewhat boring news (but exciting to us!) we are having major yardwork done. Our property is on a graded lot, so we are having the front and side yard dug up and a big huge retaining wall. Which is great news b/c we can fence the yard and let the doogles run around outside whenever they want. In hawaii there is no such thing as an "acre" of land, because it costs like 5 million dollars for an acre. So everything is in square footage. We will be increasing our yard from like 2,000 sq feet to 4,000 sq feet, so that is pretty awesome (at least by tiny island standards). All of you with those big beautiful yards back home are SOOOOO lucky.

so that's pretty much it for an update. lotsa families in vietnam, and i am loving reading about them.

Jenna, i look for Ella's picture everyday on your blog (along with like a million other people who can't believe you still don't have a referra!) Can't wait until the day finally comes. I can totally empathize with the "referral any second now" when "any second" ends up taking months.....so frustrating. but hang in there!

another week comes to an end

nothing too exciting to report here. No adoption news, really. We are still waiting for the medical report. There is probably some bloodwork that takes a while to be run at the lab. Hopefully this week we will get some news about that! We can't wait to find out any little piece of information about her. We are sending a little package to the orphanage this week. We put a couple of soft blankets, some little onesies, a rattle, and some little cotton hats. The nannies like to keep the babies completely covered and bundled from head to toe, even in the summer! We also included a small "glowworm". Remember those things? You squeeze them and their face lights up. This one sings 6 lullibyes also. Hopefully we can send out her package this week.

Still no word on when we will be traveling. I am still thinking September is a reasonable estimate. There is a LOT of work to be done on Vietnam's end, from police investigations of her background to government approval of her (and our) paperwork. We are hoping for some updates and photos as we wait.

In other news, my second year of residency is quickly drawing to an end. Halfway done! Second year is supposed to be the hardest, so hopefully the next 2 will go quickly. I have a 6 week rotation in Kentucky in Feb, and a 6 week rotation in Michigan in May, so hopefully we will be able to do some travelling around with Juneau to visit our family and friends.

Cris is happy to be finishing the didactic portion of his PhD this fall, and will then continue to teach at UH while working on his dissertation. Lots of exciting changes coming up!

Special thanks to everyone who has been thinking about us and praying for us as we try to bring our baby home! International Adoption is filled with unknowns, and the waiting and worrying that something will go wrong can be very scary. We worry about the healthy and safety of our tiny baby (pneumonia and communicable diseases are common in orphanages). We worry about a glitch in our paperwork that will hold up our adoption. We worry about her adjustment to our family. We believe that everything will work out according to God's plans.....but still can't help worrying a little bit.

We have gotten some AWESOME packages in the mail! It is so fun to get little things for Juneau, and it makes everything seem so real and exciting! Thanks to Aunt Donova, who not only sent the CUTEST little buckeye clothes, but is also praying for our baby!

To Juneau - All About your Dad

Little Juneau,

One day when you are older, you may read part of this story about how you came to be our little girl. Right now you are probably lying on your little mat in Vietnam, totally oblivious to the fact that you have a family in Hawaii, waiting to bring you home. Yesterday was Father's Day. Even though we can't hold you yet, we were thinking about you (like we always do!).

I thought you might like to know a few things about your Dad.First off, even though you were born in Vietnam, and you will live the first years of your life in Hawaii, you are already a Buckeye, just like your daddy. Your dad has been a buckeye for a long time, and he can't wait to teach you all about his favorite team.Your dad can't wait to play with you. He will throw you high in the air until you giggle so hard you can't stop (I've seen him do this plenty to your cousins!). He will teach you how to jump out of trees, and will catch you. He will play with you in the pool and the ocean, and once you can swim he will throw you high in the pool, and you will absolutely love it, and ask him to do it again and again.

Your dad will teach you many important things. He will teach you things he learned from your grandpa, and from your great grandpa. He will teach you how to work hard, and how to love whatever it is that you are doing. You might even find yourself spending the summer on grandpa's farm, learning things that not many people know how to do anymore. He will teach you about being adventurous, and honest, and kind to everyone. He will teach you how to pray.

Your dad loves you so much already. He has been thinking about you long before we even saw you. We can't wait to bring you home!

Happy Father's Day

To Juneau --- All about your Dad

Little Juneau,

One day when you are older, you may read part of this story about how you came to be our little girl. Right now you are probably lying on your little mat in Vietnam, totally oblivious to the fact that you have a family in Hawaii, waiting to bring you home. Yesterday was Father's Day. Even though we can't hold you yet, we were thinking about you (like we always do!). I thought you might like to know a few things about your Dad.

First off, even though you were born in Vietnam, and you will live the first years of your life in Hawaii, you are already a Buckeye, just like your daddy. Your dad has been a buckeye for a long time, and he can't wait to teach you all about his favorite team.

Your dad can't wait to play with you. He will throw you high in the air until you giggle so hard you can't stop (I've seen him do this plenty to your cousins!). He will teach you how to jump out of trees, and will catch you. He will play with you in the pool and the ocean, and once you can swim he will throw you high in the pool, and you will absolutely love it, and ask him to do it again and again.

Your dad will teach you many important things. He will teach you things he learned from your grandpa, and from your great grandpa. He will teach you how to work hard, and how to love whatever it is that you are doing. You might even find yourself spending the summer on grandpa's farm, learning things that not many people know how to do anymore. He will teach you about being adventurous, and honest, and kind to everyone. He will teach you how to pray.

Your dad loves you so much already. He has been thinking about you long before we even saw you. We can't wait to bring you home!








Happy Father's Day!

The Stickley's get a new car

don't get us wrong, Cris loves his 1993 GMC Sonoma, and i do just fine with my 1991 Honda Civic, but with a new addition to the family, we decided to get something built this decade. After much contemplating, discussing, and researching-which almost resulted in a Honda Odyssey-we ended up buying a Toyota Prius. We've had the prius for a month now, and have only had to stop at the gas station twice! We LOVE this thing! we had heard mixed reviews on the mileage, so we weren't sure what to expect, but we have averaged about 54 mpg so far. It is an engineering masterpiece. You really woudln't have any idea there is anything different about this car, except that it is so quiet you can't tell if it is on or off. so i guess we're kinda sold on the hybrid concept. Cris is already waiting for them to make a Hybrid pick-up truck.

anyway, hope everyone back home is doing great. we are thinking about you! we have been so excited to get some really cute little things in the mail (thanks coral for the adorable OSU stuff, and Becky for the little key chain with Juneau's picture!)

The weather has been very bad/unpredictable in vietnam, so we still don't have any medical info/weight/length stuff yet, but i am hoping for next week!

Weekend fun

Hello all

we had a great weekend hanging out together, enjoying time as our little family of two. we are so excited about little Juneau coming home, but also realizing our lives are about to be very different! We recently had breakfast with our cousins who also live in Hawaii, who have a 1 year old daughter. Their big advice was "say goodbye to movie theatres and hello to netflix". i think i can handle that.

I haven't been able to find out much about what's going on with our adoption because our case worker is currently on vacation (or something....she said she will be out of the office, but i'm not sure how long). So hopefully we will get a medical report this week. And hopefully when she gets home we can have our little chit-chat about soft referrals. I guess I've pretty much come to the conclusion that i don't think it is "unethical" to give a family a soft referral, just scary. That is probaby not the same conclusion some of you have come to, and i appreciate your comments regarding the whole issue. We have a much higher chance of something going wrong between now and when we bring our baby home, compared to someone who got a referral with a baby dossier all lined up and in order. That being said, I think there are probably lots and lots of families who get soft referrals, and don't even know it. With us it was obvious, because our baby is so young. But there are probably families who get referrals of 8 month old babies who don't yet have a dossier compiled, or who haven't completed the waiting period. I think it is virtually impossible to know (except in retrospect...and even then you still can't really know) what all has taken place on the child from Vietnam's end. Some people say if travel occurs shortly after referral you will know all was in place, but i don't think that is the answer, as there is still lots of wiggle room for unethical behavior between referral and travel. ANYWAY, i didn't mean to get back on this subject until after I talked to my agency, and then i will post a little update about what they have to say.

so here is a picture of what we could be dining on during our stay in vietnam. Sorry, Sherpa and Summit, i don't mean to offend you by implying we could be eating your furry relatives.

weekend fun

We are enjoying life as a little family of 2 while we wait to get news on the adoption. This weekend we had fun spending time together (on a rare weekend we both have off!)

We got to hang out with with cousins Tim, Beth, and baby Melody (who is about to turn 1!) at a neat restaurant overlooking the beautiful beach.

We are looking forward to enjoying the Vietnamese cuisine, although i don't know that we will be so adventureous as to try some of the furry friends we have as pets in the good ole' USA.

Juneau's 5 Toys

We haven't really bought a lot of baby stuff yet. Mostly because we didn't know how old our little June-bug would be. However, when Cris saw a cute little stuffed Husky he just had to get it for her. Since then 3 more Husky's have been added to Juneau's collection. Pretty soon she will have her own little team of sled dog's. We didn't want Summit to feel left out, so there is a little black dog too. Yes, I know, we really need to branch out in our toy shopping.

Juneau's real Husky with Summit.

When i was organizing the pictures on our camera I found this picture, taken the day after Juneau was born. It is fun to think about what we were doing the day our new little baby was born thousands of miles away. Cris and I were celebrating our anniversary (the day before juneau's birthday!) at the Makaha Golf Resort on the west side of Oahu. Little did we know that this new little person was being born, and would soon join our family!

And finally, a picture of my adorable new niece, Secily. It was GREAT to get to meet little Secily. She is such a cutie, with an adorable little mohawk of black hair.

on a lighter note

i was organizing the pics on my camera, and i found this picture, taken the day after Juneau was born! It's so fun to think about what we were doing when thousands of miles away this new little person was entering the world. June-bug was born the day after our 2nd anniversary, which we were celebrating at the Makaha Golf Resort on the west coast of Oahu.

I also HAVE to post a picture of my new little niece, Secily. she is such a cutie. she is sporting a trendy mohawk, which fortuantely looks really cute, because i think her hair will be like that for quite a while! Cousin Secily is just 2 weeks older than baby Juneau.

Itty Bitty Babies

I think there is something pretty obvious about our referral that has some people (including us!) asking questions. Juneau was less than 2 weeks when we got her picture and referral. I recently received a very nice email from a fellow adoptive parent, who wanted to be sure that I was aware of the problems that can arise from receiving this type of referral. I do want to say that I really appreciate that as fellow PAPs and APs we can bring up this kind of stuff with each other.

So, here’s the deal. We don’t know why we got a referral of such a young child. We do know that it would be impossible for her to have completed the 30 day waiting period for her birthmom to step up, or the 30 day waiting period for a local family to request to adopt her. Yes, the chances of these things happening are pretty slim, but still exist. So we are terrified that this little baby girl we have already started to love has a small chance of not coming home with us.

I think this is what happened. Our agency is very small. We are actually one of the very first (if not the first) families to get a referral. One other family has traveled, but they accepted the referral of a waiting child through our agency, not really a referral the standard way. As you know, we have been #1 on the waiting list since January. We have been promised an imminent referral for the last several months, with nothing coming through. I believe our in-country facilitator was “promised” this referral to go to our agency, and since we were the #1 family, we got the referral. Our agency was very anxious to send us the referral since we have been waiting for so long. I know that our baby will go through the waiting periods required, so it will probably be quite a while until we travel, and I do know that we are at higher risk for something going wrong, since we have been given a “soft referral”. Please please please read this post. It is really informative and has some wonderful info: Soft referrals vs. firm referrals at adoption integrity. Special thanks to Nicki, Christina and Gretchen for running this awesome resource!

So, yes we do have a referral. Yes, it is a soft referral. Yes, I am terrified that something will happen until it becomes a firm referral. No, my agency didn’t tell me it was a soft referral, I had to discover that on my own. Yes, I will be informing my agency of why I think they should only give firm referrals. They are a great agency , just very new to Vietnam adoption (and very old to china adoption, where things are oh so different). I truly believe they are acting out of ignorance, not deception. I think (and I really really really hope) that they will be receptive to what I have to say. And hopefully I can express my concerns in a kind, non-confrontational type of way.

So, there you have it

How to get a new car....

Since we moved to hawaii I have been driving around a 1993 (or is a 1991?) honda civic. It doesn't have AC, it can't sit in traffic without overheating. it's definately not pretty.

But i figured out how to get a new (or nearly new) car....you have to get a new baby, and then your husband doesn't want you driving around in an old beater. We had been planning on buying an odyssey, but as gas is creeping near the $4 mark, we decided to try something a little more economical, so we got Hybrid Prius. and we LOOOOVVVEEE it. It is a 2005, and barely driven. Still looks and smells new. I am super excited about it...(of course it obvioulsy doesn't touch the excitement about my baby girl), and to think the most exciting things ever both happened the same week! We've only filled up the tank once, and so far we are getting about 59 mpg. i love this car!