more about our referral day...

Yesterday was a really exciting day...
I thought I'd give you guys a little run down of how it all happened.
I had been visitng my family in Ohio last week (which was awesome...especially getting to meet the adorable Secily). I had finally settled into the idea that we may still be waiting quite a while to see our baby girl. We had been anticipating a referral any minute since February, so the wait was getting a little old, but i was coming to terms with it, and feeling ok about waiting.

Tuesday morning Cris came to PT in the a.m. with me. Fortunately this time he didn't break his leg. I had a rare morning that was set aside for research time/administrative duties, so i was just hanging out at the computer, trying to catch up on some stuff from vacation.
I opened up my email, and saw a message from Katie, our adoption coordinator. I immediately opened it, and saw the following message

"I just received photos of a baby girl. It is confirmed that she is your child."

I immediately starting getting extremely excited. I couldn't believe the day we have been waiting for since we started this whole process in October had finally arrived. I immediately called Cris, but he didn't answer his phone. I tried calling him again (ok, i tried calling him like 14 more times) but he was away from his office and didn't hear the phone. I thought about waiting to open her pictures, but i just couldn't wait. I opened her first picture, and saw her tiny little face, and her perfect fair skin, and little mouth. i couldn't believe this was actually our baby. I sent a quick text message to cris that said "congratulations daddy, you have a baby girl" FINALLY after what seemd like forever (but was really only about 15 minutes) cris called back, so excited that we could finally see this little girl who lives so far away, waiting for her mama and daddy to come get her. Unfortunately I was workign a 24 hour shift, so we couldn't really celebrate, but Cris did come to the hospital to have dinner with me so we could look at her little picture together.
So that's the story of how we came to see the first pictures of the baby girl soon to be our little June-bug.
Also, We are excited that Juneau shares her birth month with her new cousin Secily, Uncle Casey, Uncle Drew, and little buddy Jonah Thomas (congrats to Jeremy and Kyla!)

i know it's not as good as the real thing, but here is a little glimpse of our baby girl. and check out the grip on this little gal....she's got a hand full of somebody's hair!

The referral story...

Yesterday was a really exciting day...

I thought I'd give you guys a little run down of how it all happened.

I had been visitng my family in Ohio last week (which was awesome...especially getting to meet the adorable Secily). I had finally settled into the idea that we may still be waiting quite a while to see our baby girl. We had been anticipating a referral any minute since February, so the wait was getting a little old, but i was coming to terms with it, and feeling ok about waiting.

Tuesday morning Cris came to PT in the a.m. with me. Fortunately this time he didn't break his leg. I had a rare morning that was set aside for research time/administrative duties, so i was just hanging out at the computer, trying to catch up on some stuff from vacation.

I opened up my email, and saw a message from Katie, our adoption coordinator. I immediately opened it, and saw the following message

"I just received photos of a baby girl, born May 18, 2007. Her name is THANH THU THI NGUYEN. It is confirmed that she is your child."

I immediately starting getting extremely excited. I couldn't believe the day we have been waiting for since we started this whole process in October had finally arrived. I immediately called Cris, but he didn't answer his phone. I tried calling him again (ok, i tried calling him like 14 more times) but he was away from his office and didn't hear the phone. I thought about waiting to open her pictures, but i just couldn't wait. I opened her first picture, and saw her tiny little face, and her perfect fair skin, and little mouth. i couldn't believe this was actually our baby. I sent a quick text message to cris that said "congratulations daddy, you have a baby girl, born May 18) FINALLY after what seemd like forever (but was really only about 15 minutes) cris called back, so excited that we could finally see this little girl who lives so far away, waiting for her mama and daddy to come get her. Unfortunately I was workign a 24 hour shift, so we couldn't really celebrate, but Cris did come to the hospital to have dinner with me so we could look at her little picture together.

So that's the story of how we came to see the first pictures of the baby girl soon to be our little June-bug.

We got 4 pictures of her, they all look pretty much the same, but i will post the other 3 photos. We think she is less than a week old in the pictures, because Katie recieved them by email on Saturday, when she was only 8 days old. We are still waiting for her medical report (which will have the details about her weight/lenght etc...). We hope to have this report sometime next week.

Her vietnamese name is:

Thanh - which means sunny, or lovely

Thu - which means Autumn

Thi - Poem

Nguyen is very common Vietnamese surname

Also, We are excited that Juneau shares her birth month with her new cousin Secily, Uncle Casey, Uncle Drew, and little buddy Jonah Thomas (congrats to the Crigler family!)

Introducing....(edited)

ok, yes....we DO indeed have a referral of an absolutely gorgeous tiny baby girl.

If you stopped by earlier today you would have seen her name, birth date, location etc...

I got some advice from a more experienced adoptive parent, that after much consideration I have decided to follow. Upon receiving a picture of our little June-bug she immediately became the most important thing, and as much as I hate taking down her picture and information, I feel compelled to do so. I am far from a paranoid person. I border on naive (especially about adoption), but after hearing a couple of stories of stolen referrals, and stolen referral pictures, I decided it was best to keep this precious little girl anonmyous for now. I know that sucks. You guys don't know how much I appreciate your support through all the sucky times of waiting for this picture, and it feels so cruel not to display her adorable-ness for everyone to see, but it has been brought to my attention that not all blog surfers have good intentions...
HOWEVER, if you follow my blog, and would like to see "her cuteness" I would LOVE to show her off. I am already carrying around her picture in my wallet and flashing it to anyone I can...so please don't hesitate to email me and I will promptly forward it.

crisandemilie @ yahoo dot com

Introducing....

Juneau Iris Stickley


Born May 18, 2007


Waiting for us in Thanh Hoah Baby Orphanage, Vietnam

Check back for another picture tomorrow!

Back to blogger land

So, long time since last post, I know. Things are definately looking up in the morale dept. Thank you guys SOOOO much for your insightful and kind comments on my last couple of posts. You probably know how i had been feeling since most of you guys have probably been there during your own adoption processes.

A comment i wanted to especially point out, because it really changed the way i think about things. Jenn made an excellent point that the culture is so different, and that the in-country coordinator probably gives a best case scenario just because he wants us to be happy. I encountered the exact same thing when i spent a couple of months volunteering at a hospital in pakistan. The people were wonderful, but they had such a high desire to make us (the hospital workers) happy that they would often flat out lie, just to have something good to say. It was such a strange phenomenon, but they woudl completely make things up, just so we would be happy. Suddenly this made me realize that Charlie (our in-country coordinator) may be doing the same thing. always giving the absolute best case scenario (like back when i thought we would have a referral in january, then in february, then in march etc....now it's practically june).

anyway, all that to say, thanks for the encouragement...and sorry for the delay in posting. absolutely no referral news. i think i'm gonna break down and email my agency today to see if there is anything.

So I just got back from my very excellent vacation to Ohio. All the sibs were there, including my adorable new little neice. I will post pics later. I tried out my sling with her, and i LOVE it.
We did end up stopping by the Asian Fest in columbus (sorry ohio buddies...i really wanted to get a chance to meet up with some of you guys, but it was really last minute that we decided to go). it was really fun, but i do have to say, did anyone see the Japanese Karaoke guy who did "Beat It" That was one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen! And terribly entertaining.

And that's pretty much it. I'm back to work now, luckily I have the morning to kinda get settled back in and sort through all the junk of the week. I have a lot of blog reading to catch up on, but i did see some referrals have been given, and some lucky parents are traveling this week.

Frustrations....

First off, I wanted to say you guys are awesome! Thanks for the wonderful, insightful, and honest comments about homeschooling. I really enjoyed reading about your personal experiences and opinions. thank you so much for taking the time to share.

My day has started out pretty crappy. "a few days" that were told to expect a referral has now turned into 2 weeks. Which is actually 4 weeks from the time we were told " afew days". See email from agency below that i recieved when i got to work this a.m.

"I spoke with Charlie about the baby referral. He tells me that we should have the referral within the next two weeks. I asked why the delay and he said that the Chairman Minister of Justice in Hanoi has been out of town and that this official needs to do something with our license with Thanh Hoa before they can release the child. The Minister should be back this week. Charlie and everyone involved is well aware that we are asking for a baby, female, as young as possible. I know this is frustrating, being so close. I am frustrated as well, but I will ask Charlie to please stay on this and to get me the child information as soon as possible."

I worked a very long and busy 24 hour shift on Wednesday, then came home on Thursday and couldn't sleep b/c I was so sure our referral was going to come (this was before the email above). I took like a 15 minute nap with my phone in 1 hand and my pager in the other. but of course no calls.

So this morning I brought several big baskets of treats to work for the nurses (it is nurses week this week). It took me a really long time to get them all put together, and I put a lot of thought/work into the gifts. I had made 2 for labor and delivery, one for the GYN ward, and one for the OB ward. I brought it to our little morning meeting, where the attendings and residents all get together and discuss the prior day/evenings events, and told the residents/attendings about the gifts, and passed around cards for everyone to sign. So first thing, the chief of the dept says "well, what about the clinic nurses". indeed, i had neglected to make one for the clinic nurses. I have barely set foot in clinic this year, and just forgot. But i was so devestated because i worked so hard to make something nice, and instead of saying "thanks for putting this together", it was just this mean tone like "you are so unthoughtful, i can't believe you didn't even think about the clinic nurses". So anyway, L&D only got 1 basket, and i gave the other one to clinic, no worries. But i got all teary and practically started crying in front of everyone because even after all of my work to get this put together for the nurses, it still came across looking like i did something really horrible.

which brings me to the whole crying thing. I cry all the time. not really all the time, but more at all the WRONG times. I cry when i am frustrated, or when i am dissappointed in myself for doing something wrong. Unfortunately, as a resident those things happen frequently. I hate the fact that i cry so much in front of people. especially as a doctor (still a male dominated field) and also because i am in the army (Definately a male dominated field, and these are like tough-guy types). Once, a patient hurt my feelings so badly (she felt i had acted uncaring towards her) that i burst out in tears right in front of her. It's like i can't help it. the harder i try to hold it in, the more impressive the actual crying part is. it's terrible. anyway, long story short, a simple comment about forgetting the clinic nurses caused the whole tears thing. it's so embarrassing when that happens. I once had a professor in med school who said she had the same problem. Finally she just learned to embrace the fact that she cried in front of people, and she learned to be ok with it. i don't think i will ever get to that point.

so, another 2 weeks until referral. I wanted more than anything to have that baby girl's picture in my hand when i went to see my family in Ohio. It just makes it more real. Now that won't happen. maybe i will try to think of something fun to do tomorrow to take my mind off it. There is a huge community garage sale tomorrow, so maybe i will find some good deals.

Homeschooling

Ok, so I am venturing out into the wide wide world of non-adoption related blogging.
Homeschooling can be a hot topic. I have spoken with some parents who feel that it is absolutely wrong to keep your children at home and not allow them the opportunity to attend "regular" school. I have also known families who believe homeschooling is the absolute best choice, and they would never send their kids to the "system". My family is somewhere in the middle. I will speak candidly about my experience, and hopefully not offend anyone or hurt any feelings.

There are 5 kids in my family
Becky - now 29 was homeschooled from 7th grade until graduation. She is a Registered Nurse.
Me - now 27. Homeschooled from 5th grade until 9th grade. Then public high school Now an OB/GYN resident physician
Tommy - now 24. Homeschooled from 3rd grade until graduation. Now a police officer.
Betsy - now 19 -Homeschooled from kindergarten until graduation, with 1 or 2 years of public school during the elementary years. Now dancing with a professional dance company, and coming to Hawaii next year to study dance.
Drew - now 17 - Also homeschooled from kindergarten until 9th grade. Now in Public. Wants to be a youth pastor.

So, as you can see we have some who were homeschooled since the beginning, and some who chose to attend public school. One of the things that has a huge impact on me about homeschooling is the sacrifice my parents made to give us what they believed was the absolute best. My mom went back to nursing school when i was in high school, and my dad worked full time. It was a huge strain on the family to homeschool 5 children, but it was important enough to them to make it work. Now, that being said, we were never "forced" to homeschool. The option to attend a public school was always there.

So the pros:
1. Amazing opportunities. One particular project we had was to pick a painting that was displayed at the Chicago Art Museum, and research the artist. We each wrote a creative writing story about the piece, and even drew our own interpretation of the piece. Then we took a "field trip" to Chicago and got to see the art in person. Awesome experiences like this would be hard to do in public school
2. Family bonding. My homeschool years hold some of the best memories. I am so close to my parents and my siblings, and I believe a lot of this is because of the teamwork and close contact with my sibs. We had some really really fun times of all being home together during the day.
3. Thinking "outside the box". Homeschooling allowed my parents to teach each of us in the way we learned best. My sister and I are very independant. We liked having a set schedule and setting about our work. My brothers learned very differently, and my parents were able to adjust to that, and teach them in the ways they learned best. Students who learn by different mechanisms often get "overlooked" in the public school system

Cons (and these might be a little touchy...please don't get offended, these are just my own observations)
1. Sense of entiltement - I have been around a LOT of homeschoolers. Sometimes these kids grow up thinking that they are better than the other kids. That they are smarter because they finished their "5th grade math" in 3rd grade. There is somtimes a tendancy towards "know it all" type behavior. Homeschoolers get basically one-on-one attention with their number 1 fan - their mom (or dad), and this can sometimes lead to overinflated little kid egos. that may sound silly, but sometimes this is hard to see in your own kid.
2. Weak spots - It is hard to teach something you are not interested in, or not good at. Sometimes these things get swept under the rug. I have known homeschooled kids who are awesome in math, but have no idea about history or geography. Or are very avid readers, but have never advanced in math. The curiculum teaching seems to really address this problem, and help ensure a well rounded education.
3. Socialization - i know this is kind of the touchy one. There are some homeschooled kids who are rarely around other kids except their families. I know this is true, because I know some of these kids. This is a fairly easy one to fix though - YMCA sports, music lessons, church...etc. We were really involved in our church, and were there several times a week with the youth group, we also played sports and all took piano lessons.
4. lack of independance - this is one I have come to realize recently. Some of the lifelong homeschoolers don't feel comfortable doing things on their own. They have never had to navigate the halls of a high school. Never had to find their own locker, or ask their teacher for an extension on their homework. Heading off to college can be a really, really scary experience if you always had your mom, or your brother or sister to help with the normal tasks.

Anyway, I haven't really done any research on homeschooling, so these are purely my own experiences and opinions.
To this day i still get teased about being homeschooled. If i do something dorky, or don't know something pop-cultureish my friends will say "that is so homeschool". That might offend people. I don't really care. I am proud of the fact that my parents chose to homeschool us. I have had some awesome memories and experiences that those friends will never know. So it doesn't bother me at all if people tease me.

Will i homeschool my own children? Probably not. Aside from the fact that i don't think i ever could because of my job, I don't know if it is necessarily the best choice for my family. It takes a really special type of person to be a successful home school parent (and i have the utmost respect for those of you that are attempting this big job!). I will try to incorporate many of the things I learned from homeschooling into my children's lives, but i don't think i will be a full-time homeschool mom.

Anyway, i don't know if anyone was able to stick it out to the end of this long post...
but if you did, I'd love to hear your thoughts on homeschooling!

Another little update....

Hi guys. things here are going great. We miss everyone so much! i am getting really excited about my upcoming trip to Ohio. Tommy and Sonya are expecting little Cecily any day now. i can't wait to meet my newest little niece. our adoption agency emailed on wednesday and said that they anticipate they will recieve their license by the end of the week, and hope for a referral a few days after. This crazy adoption world is unpredictable, but hopefully sometime next week we will have some exciting news.

Randomness

Adoption Update:
Email from my agency on Wednesday said basically they should be licensed in the new province (Thanh Hoa) by the end of the week, and have a referral a few days after. Now the question is do I believe it, or not. I don't think they mislead me on purpose, but it seems like a lot of the promises they've made so far haven't really come true. I know they are just trying to give us some hope that a referral is near, but we have been #1 on the girl list since January (yes, we are in our 4th month as #1).

Army Update:
I had my PT test last week, and luckily squeaked on by. I almost didn't pass my push ups, as I believe the SGT who was grading me was out to get me, but I finished my run in good time, and made it through the sit-ups, although I had to do that little roll to the side thing before sitting up in order to get out of bed for the next 3 days. So I swore to be in better shape before my next PT test, but check back in in 6 months and see if I'm complaining that I swear I have a hematoma in my abdominal muscles from too many sit-ups, and i can't lift my purse from the push-ups

Vacation update:
2 weeks until I get to go home and pinch the cheeks of 2 nieces and a nephew (and no, cecily, being a newborn doesn't exempt you from cheek pinching), and hang out with the rest of my awesome fam.

Blog update:
I've decided i'm going to cross the barrier of blogging only about adoption updates and how much i can't wait to get the little june-bug, and try blogging about something else intermittently. I think my next post is going to be about homeschooling. I know a lot of my blogger buddies are either currently homeschooling, or are considering homeschooling, and as an adult who was homeschooled i thought i could toss in a little perspective.