Days 4-6: Tuesday, July 15 - 17, 2008

Day 4: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 - Danang to Hanoi

We board the plane very early this morning to fly to Hanoi. I am nervous about Juneau’s reaction to being on a plane for the first time. As we wait for the bus to take us from the terminal to the plane, the ticket taker says something to Lilian in Vietnamese and Lilian responds with a smile. On the bus she tells us: “The lady said that the baby looked more like me than her father. It was easier to not try to explain.” It hadn’t dawned on me until that point that with me, a lone white guy with a Vietnamese baby strapped to my chest, walking around with my parents and Lilian, a Vietnamese woman who is my same age, that it must appear that Juneau is Lilian and my child. We all share a laugh about that one.
On the plane, Juneau is so relaxed and just interested in looking around. She doesn’t make a peep the whole flight and I’m relieved.

Juneau's first plane ride

Gulf of Tonkin (non-history buffs could care less about this picture)

We arrive at the Hoa Binh Palace Hotel in Hanoi. It is an OLD hotel built over 100 years ago by the French. It is nice and we have a big room with lots of room to stretch. We go for a little shopping in the old quarter of Hanoi before returning to the hotel restaurant for dinner. While dining over our French themed cuisine, we watch out the window at a downpour that causes at least a 6 inch build-up of water on the road. Everyone has pulled their motorbikes and bicycles over under the building awnings while a few are out splashing through the water and laughing at this mini-flood. Juneau is doing a little better today and lets me sit her down a couple times without crying as long as I don’t venture too far. I give her a bath for the first time and she is NOT too thrilled about it. She also makes it through her first diaper change without crying. No real smiles yet which is heartbreaking but progress nonetheless. Day 5: Wednesday, June 16, 2008

This morning it is still a bit rainy so we visit the Vietnam Museum of Ethnology outlining the history of the ethnic groups of Vietnam and showcasing lots of cool artifacts and model dwellings from each subculture. The highlight of today comes when, on a whim, I try to ring Emilie on Skype and she answers. It’s 5:30 a.m. for her and I figure there’s a chance she’ll be getting ready for work and have her computer on. As soon as she answers we quickly get our webcams hooked up. I have Juneau sitting on my lap at the computer and as soon as I get my webcam plugged in I hear Emilie start screaming “I can see her, I can see her.” It’s our first opportunity for her mommy to see Juneau in real time and also the first time I’ve talked to Emilie, without typing it, since we left for Vietnam. It’s also the first time I’ve gotten to see Nova in what seems like ages. We don’t have much time but we share an amazing 15 minutes for the first time as a family, even if it isn’t totally live, in-person.

Talking to mommy and Nova all the way in Michigan

This evening Juneau has finally relaxed to the point that she is interested in playing with things as we sit at the dinner table. In our room she loves the remote and chewing on a teething ring I brought. Her front bottom two teeth are in a long way and the tops are peaking through so she wants to chew on everything.She is starting to let her personality show and is babbling a bit and saying “Ba” (daddy in Vietnamese).

Day 6: Thursday, July 17, 2008

Today we had a really cool experience. After getting up early and spending nearly an hour on the webcam with Emilie and Nova, we head out for some sightseeing. There was one site I definitely wanted to see while in Hanoi so I locate some pictures on the internet. As soon as I show Lilian, she knows exactly where it is. We take a short cab ride, which Lilian has to direct because the cab driver doesn’t know where the place is, and arrive at the remnants of the Hoa Lo Prison…better known to Americans as the Hanoi Hilton, former POW camps to American pilots shot down during the war, including the man who is hopefully our next president, John McCain. The prison has several historical eras but we are most interested when we reach the wing devoted to the American POW’s. It is an eye-opening experience. The pictures and captions pertaining to the Americans’ imprisonment is laced with propaganda including multiple pictures of protestors in the U.S. who according to the picture, are “showing solidarity of the American people with Vietnamese people in the Vietnamese struggle for independence and unification of the country." Another panel of pictures shows U.S. airmen playing basketball, cards, and setting up a Christmas tree. The display gives the impression of an experience second only to a resort vacation. Not surprisingly, none of the displays mention torturing prisoners for information.

Entrance to the Hanoi Hilton
Inside: A main gate to the prison

Standing outside one of the cells, complete with leg shackles embedded in the floor

John McCain's flight suit and parachute

Next we visit Van Mieu - Quoc Tu Giam (the Temple of Literature and University), Vietnam’s first university, established in 1076. This temple serves as a place to pray to Confucius and includes a record of those passing the “royal examinations” over the years known as the stelae of the doctor laureates (PhD’s by today’s terminology). The Stelae sit on the backs of giant stone tortoises, one of the country’s four holy creatures. Local tradition holds that coming to the Temple and rubbing the head of the tortoises will bring intelligence and success in studies.

Entrance to the University / Temple compound

Rubbing the head means future PhD in the family

Tonight we take in a show featuring an art form unique to Vietnam - water puppetry. It’s like a puppet show…in water. I know everyone is here to see pictures and not read so here are some of my favorites:

First bath in the big girl's tub. That sink was getting too small.

Juneau already knows "the grandpa Stickley" (sleeping sitting up with mouth hanging open)

Plane ride with dad

Naptime with Grandpa Stickley
Temple Tour
Full belly - Out for the night.

I'm Back - With Lots of Catching Up To Do

I’m back online (at least for the time being). As if computer problems aren’t frustrating enough, when you are trying to talk the hotel’s computer tech and neither of you really speak the other’s language, you can imagine how the blood pressure responds. The first lady spent a whole day coming in and out of our room at various times to “try something else” and finally decided she’d have to “have my boss come look at it tomorrow.” He came by today and in about 5 minutes, had it up and running. I’m not sure what he did but I’m sure somehow, even in Vietnam, Windows Vista is to blame. Thanks to those who were praying to the saint of high speed internet connections. God knew I was going to go crazy if the “limited connectivity” icon down in the corner of my screen didn’t disappear.

Though I’ve been disconnected, I have worked on keeping up with the tale of our adventure so now I must catch up. Also, this may be more detail than you care to know, but Juneau’s mommy is sitting at home craving every word I can supply about the trip and about her little girl. You may have to read this in more than one sitting. Here we go:

Day 3: Giving and Receiving Ceremony, Monday, July 14, 2008

This morning was so overwhelming emotionally. The whole drive down to Tam Ky from Hoi An (about 45 min) I just sit quietly and don’t participate in any of the chit-chat going on between my parents and Lilian. The worm is turning in my stomach and I am too anxious - will she be able to adjust? will she take to me okay?

Department of Justice

We arrive at the Dept. of Justice and walk upstairs to a small conference room adorned with banners and a bust statue of Ho Chi Minh at the front. As we enter the room, sitting on a chair off to our left is Juneau, being held by one of her nannies. I recognize this woman from video we saw of the Tam Ky orphanage months ago. She is smiling and playing with Juneau and her affection toward my daughter is obvious. Within a minute or two of my entering the room and sitting down, I see the nanny’s expression change. I am sure she has been through this many times and knows the time is growing short. Her playfulness with Juneau starts to turn to hugging and kissing and it is clear she is doing her best to keep from crying. I am immediately overcome by this sight and have to step out of the room until the lump in my throat clears.
Within a few more minutes, the appropriate personnel are gathered in the room and we begin. I am sitting on one side of a table with Lilian who acts as coach and translator. Across the table is the orphanage director and the vice director of the Dept. of Justice. The Director of the Dept. of Justice sits at the head of the table and acts as emcee. After some formalities, I stand and receive the official decree of adoption from the DOJ Director, pose for the photo op and then the moment arrives. The nanny hands Juneau to the orphanage director who then hands her to me officially. We pose for photos and then sit down again. Juneau is overwhelmed and begins to cry so we give her back to the nanny so we can complete the formalities of the ceremony. The DOJ Director makes a short speech wishing us luck and that he hopes someday, when she is older, we might bring Juneau back to visit so she can understand and be proud of where she came from.Then I am asked if I would like to say anything. I am not sure how to adequately or appropriately say what is on my heart at that moment so I simply say: On behalf of myself and my wife who couldn’t be here today, I would like to say how happy we are for her to join our family and we will do our best to make sure she is raised in a happy and loving home.
The formalities are over and we prepare to leave. As we approach Juneau, her nanny begins to cry and just squeezes her and kisses her and hugs her. I just stand there and let her go for as long as she wants…I will hold this child for the rest her life, I can wait a few more minutes. Finally, she pushes Juneau in my direction and I take her and head for the door. My mom is coming behind me and empathetically shares a hug with the nanny. Juneau is still a bit fussy so I take her downstairs to the entry way while Lilian is finishing papers. The nanny comes down on her way out while we are standing there. Again, she stops and hugs and kisses Juneau while holding back the tears. She goes over to the motorbike she and the orphanage director are riding but comes back one last time to put a little hat on Juneau’s head (undoubtedly the hat she had put on her head on the way from the orphanage this morning), making sure even up to the last minute that Juneau was taken care of. One last time she hugs and kisses her and walks back to the motorbike in tears. As they ride away on the motorbike, she looks back and waves the whole time until they are completely out of sight.

The Giving & Receiving ceremony was nice and marked the official moment of Juneau joining our family so those events from the day were important but none of the formalities of that event will stick with me next month or even next week as strongly as the interactions between Juneau and that beautiful, loving woman. The love she had for my daughter, evidenced by her profound sadness in seeing her go, is what will stay with me forever about today.

Juneau fusses for a little while on the drive back to Hoi An but eventually falls asleep. The rest of the day she is in a state of shock and doesn’t make a sound as long as I am holding her. The moment I lay her down for even the slightest thing, she clings to me and cries until I pick her back up (so diaper changes are a bit of a trick). She eats pretty well and then in total exhaustion, passes out for the night…BUT, every time I try to lay her down, she wakes up and begins crying again. If not for our baby carrier, my arms and back would have been even worse off than they are.

Juneau looking at pictures of her new family on the ride back to Hoi An

Back at the hotel

Eventually, she falls soundly enough asleep for me to be able to lay her down; I don’t even attempt to take her out of the carrier and just unsnap it from my body and she sleeps in it for a couple hours. Tomorrow is an early day. We will drive to Danang and fly (1 hour) to Hanoi. I’m nervous about taking the upcoming flight with this fragile little girl so it is hard to sleep, but I am so tired from today that I pass out quickly. Juneau wakes up 1 time but a little milk puts her right back to sleep (with me holding her of course).

I am thankful that this day was finally able to come. I am thankful for all the prayers from our friends and families and for the hard work from Christine, Ruthanne and others at HIC that have allowed this to happen. But most of all, I am thankful that God has blessed Emilie and me with the gift of caring for this beautiful little girl.

technical difficulties

i thought it was too good to be true that cris was able to email and blog so easily. however, upon arrival in hanoi cris has encountered some technical difficulties preventing him from accessing the internet. talk about frustrating! I guess the hotel has internet, but it won't work for his computer somehow. i got a short email yesterday that he sent from the business center, but it has weird hours so it is notvery reliable. i haven't been able to actually talk to him since he arrived in vietnam. Hopefully we can get it figured out!

Letter to Juneau

Dear Juneau,

Well the day has finally arrived. the day you will be starting a new adventure in your journy of life. It seems like the day would never get here, but now the wait is over. at first the adventure will seem hard. Hard to leave the tiny little orphanage that has been your home for the past 10 months and hard to leave those who have taken good care of you. But as you leave I know you will feel the love in your daddy's arm as he holds you close and comforts you. He will take his fingers and wipe the tears from your eyes and cheeks.

How our hearts ache that your mommy can't be here to share in the adventure. Oh how she would love the culture and beauty of your homeland. The mountains and rice fields are awesome. (the food's not bad either)
Your grandma and I still can't believe we have been so blessed to be part of this adventure. GOD IS GOOD!

Soon you will meet your mommy and new baby sister. They are so excited to see you. You will meet grandma and grandpa Saccenti plus lots of aunts and uncles and cousins who all will love you very much. By the way you have a great-grandma and great-grandpa Stickley.
We know this all seems overwhelming right now but there many people that are now and have been praying for you and will contunue to pray for you in this adventure. We hope that you will be able too meet many of them and thank them.
Let the adventure begin. we love you juneau!
Love grandpa and grandma Stickley

we interrupt the reguarly scheduled programming...

for a michigan update!

my mom, Nova and I are all loving reading the blog and seeing the pictures of Juneau, Cris, Dennis and Karen's adventure! This weekend the three of us were in Chicago for an awesome girl's weekend with some of my wonderful friends from Youngstown State. These are the girls who became my friends when i started at YSU at 18 years old, and have remained my very good friends through medical school and more! while i was in Chicago it was so incredible to check our blog and see the story of Juneau meeting her dad for the first time. All of the girls gathered around the computer and looked at the pictures. Later I was able to access the blog from my cell phone, and i read the entry to mom and nova while we ate lunch on Michigan Avenue.

Mommy reading the story of Juneau meeting her dad

We had such a great time in Chicago. Nova got to meet the adorable and amazing Ava and Zoe.

Nova and Zoe with Bharani and Arlene

Ava checking Nova out

After hanging out with my friends this morning, we walked around a little bit in downtown chicago. Nova was serenaded by 2 men playing the drums on buckets, and then really enjoyed the "original chicago tinman".

Nova and I are really making the very best of the difficult time being away from Cris, and now Juneau. We have been loving spending so much time with Grammy, who is taking great care of both of us! We are counting down the days until August 16th when we will be together.

Cris, please give big sister a kiss from her Mommy and i will give little sister a kiss from her Dad. We are thinking about you and June-bug all the time. Tomorrow may be a very hard day for our sweet girl, but i know you will be able to show her how much her family loves her and has been waiting and praying for this time to finally come. We love you! I hope we get to talk to you soon!

Day 2: Tam Ky

Day 2: I am exhausted by the events of the day, both physical and emotional. I am reminded of the words to Emilie and my special song for Juneau (All the Words by Kutlass):

"How do I speak of the indescribable to you..."

But I'll try. We wake early this morning and it is nice to get a few miles in on the treadmill to shake off the stiffness of sitting on a plane all day yesterday. We leave Saigon and make the short 1 hour flight to Danang.

Driving to the airport in Saigon; Getting ready to land in Danang

Danang, the 3rd largest town in Vietnam is nice but a bit less developed than Saigon. We have a very nice lunch of local cuisine before heading the 60 km. to Tam Ky.

The road to Tam Ky

The road to Tam Ky winds through mile after mile of rice fields and small outcroppings of towns. After a dozen or so brushes with death navigating the multitude of cars and motorbikes (the dotted line down the center of the road is really more just a guideline or to serve as a point of reference), we arrive at the Red Cross baby orphanage in Tam Ky and are led to the director's office. The orphanage is very small and pretty much what you'd expect a small orphanage in a rural area of a third world country to be like. But Lilian has said repeatedly how well cared for the babied are at Tam Ky and how great the caregiver's are.
Juneau is still asleep so they have to wake her up. After an agonizing few minutes of waiting, they bring Juneau into the room. I'm immediately struck by how big she is. Emilie and I thought all along that she looked big in the pictures but figured in person she would be smaller than we thought. In fact, she is BIGGER than we ever thought. I am not convinced that she isn't a little bit older than her "estimated" age at the time she was left at the orphanage.
She is still tired and unsure but is content with me holding her for quite awhile. She lays down against my chest for a few minutes and it is clear she is still shaking off her nap and would just as soon go back to sleep. I am overwhelmed that I am actually holding her...after all this time I am standing in Vietnam holding my little girl. I tell her about her mommy and her little sister who can't wait to see her.

Her age is a prime phase for advances in limbic system development and though she is okay with me holding her for awhile, soon she hears several of the babies in the adjoining room start screaming and she decides it must be time to start screaming.

We ended our visit at that point and one of the nannies takes her back to settle her down. During the long drive back to Danang, the day starts to catch up to me and I'm exhausted.

Back in our hotel in the resort area of Hoi An, we grab a quick dinner and are ready to crash. Tomorrow is an early day of driving back to Tam Ky for the Giving and Receving ceremony when Juneau joins our family officially.

Please pray that she will feel relaxed and comfortable with me and be able to bond quickly to her dad. I know there will be some tough adjusting for her but I pray it will be minimally painful for all of us.
I also know this blog post cannot adequately describe how it felt when they brought her into the room today and when I held her for the first time but I'm not sure those words exist.

Day 1: Honolulu (to Tokyo) to Saigon

Day 1: We lifted off from Honolulu a little after 9:00 on Friday morning sitting on the upper deck of a HUGE Boeing 747. First time on JAL and they absolutely ROCK!! Food was plentiful, personal entertainment in our seats for the long flights and flight attendants who didn't look like they'd just as soon shoot you as serve you a dixie cup full cranberry juice.
In Tokyo we sat...and sat...and sat...for 6 hours. Finally, we left Tokyo about11:30 pm (Hawaii time).
We arrived a little while ago in Saigon. Customs here was a total breeze...took about 5 minutes. We must look trustworthy. We had no problem finding Lilian (our friendly in-country HIC representative) amongst the mass of humanity outside of the airport.
All told, 20 hours from wheels up in Honolulu to touchdown in Vietnam. I've been up about 26 hours now so I will try to get some sleep, even though my body thinks it's 7:00 a.m.
Tomorrow we get on a plane at 11:15 and fly for 1 hour to Danang. We will drive directly from the airport (about 1.5 hours) to Tam Ky and see Juneau for the first time. Lilian says she is a very sweet and loving baby and is happy to let anyone hold her. Well, get ready June-bug because tomorrow your daddy is going to finally hold you!!