December has officially arrived, and we are ready for a busy month! We've got our Christmas tree up, and our little house decorated.
On Thursday night I leave for Las Vegas with 2 other residents to attend the much anticipated "Cosmetic Gynecology" conference.
After returning from the conference on Monday, i work for another week, and then I am off to Ohio. I'm already trying to figure out if i have anything warm enough to even wear on the plane, much less to last me a whole week in the coldness. I guess my sisters will have to dress me out of their wardrobes while i am home.
Then I come back to Hawaii on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas day with my wonderful husband (Cris won't be making the trip back to Ohio).
So lots to look forward to.
Tomorrow we have a meeting with our agency director. I'm quite anxious to see how that goes. I really hope she is willing to take responsibility for what happened. I hate when the agencies always find someone else to blame for whatever problems arise. I guess I've pretty much come to the conclusion that an error could have been made by the orphanage director, but I do believe it is our in-country facilitor's error that led to a 6 month delay in us finding out. So, I guess we'll see what she has to say. We still don't know what to do from here. A lot of the money we've paid is "non-refundable" (although in this situation i believe it would be a huge mistake for them not to refund our money if that is what we request). Worse than losing the money is the prospect of going to the bottom of someone's 2 year long wait list. The idea of that makes me want to cry right now. Ultimately, I don't think the agency did anything necessarily "unethical", depending on how you define unethical. There was no harm or wrong done to the child, and no illegal money changing hands, no falsifying of paperwork. I think it was more just ignorance, or dare i say stupidity, that led to our heartbreak. So the issue is more can we trust them to try again, or should we just leave everything we've invested for the last 15 months and start all over again. I know lots of people would probably abandon ship and find a new agency, i just can't even fathom going back to the beginning. So, hopefully I'll have some more answers tomorrow.
In other news, the "gyno-girls" (my class of OB/GYN residents is a group of all girls!) new edition of the annual holiday greeting card is out. Unfortunately, i don't have Year 1 on my computer, but perhpas you can imagine Charlie's Angels with speculums instead of guns.
Year 2
Year 3
7 comments:
Dear Cris and Emilie,
I have been following your blog and was very saddened (as were my two daughters, one adopted from Vietnam, the other China)with what happened with your referral. I just read your post and may I tell you I hope you try to start again with this agency, where you left off. I just hope you get the right conversation tomorrow that will allow you to have that kind of confidence to dare to try it with them again. I just hope for it so that hopefully you have less of a wait. But, also, I do know in my heart that "your" child is just waiting patiently to be united with you both, forever! My children are 8 and 10 so it's been years since we went through "the process" but I can honestly say I was NEVER good at "the process". Have a wonderful season of joy and new beginnings :-)Linda
Good luck with your meeting tomorrow. I hope they are able to shed some light on the situation for you! I really hope you find peace in your decision with how to proceed...I know it's not an easy thing to decide right now. We'll be following the journey!
Oh...and I love the photos!
Good luck with the agency meeting. I hope it brings some more peace and tons of hope. I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to start over with a new agency at this point.
Hey there-
As said earlier, best of luck with your agency. Long story short, we were JUST about to send our dossier to them for our second adoption. i asked about what happened with you all and I got a very different response than what you are posting. maybe we should talk. My email is on my blog.. I am sorry you are dealing with this. I think it is quite fair to demand to be put at the top of the list. Like you should be given the next referral. Hands down.
take care
Nic
you are such an inspiration to me. you just seem so incredibly strong. i truly cannot imagine your pain...but you have handled this with such grace.
take care,
emily
you are such an inspiration to me. you just seem so incredibly strong. i truly cannot imagine your pain...but you have handled this with such grace.
take care,
emily
Hey Em,
I wish you luck with the meeting and hope that the agency chooses to make things right. I think that they should give you the next baby girl referral that comes along and hopefully you will be doing your travel paperwork very soon!
I totally agree that at this point it would be so frustrating to start again from scratch with another agency.
You have to trust your instincts when you meet with everyone.
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