Settling In to our new life.

It's 5:30 a.m. Hawaii time. Nova has been restless since about 3:30, so i am wide awake while she is napping on and off in her swing. Juneau has been slept through the night for the last 3 nights. The girls are finally starting to get on the same schedule. They have even been napping at the same time!

Cris has been doing a fantastic job of keeping the blog updated. For the last week i have been so busy i have barely been able to read what he has written, much less post anything myself. Being home with both girls has been amazing for the most part, but there have been some very difficult times. Juneau is very very much a Daddy's girl. She's still not so sure what to think about having a mom. She is ok with me during the day, but the second Cris walks through the door I am basically dogmeat. I know eventually she will grow to love me as well, but it is still very difficult at times.

I have had a lot of help at home this week, which has made everything much easier. Our nanny, Sally, has been coming over in the mornings to watch Nova while i work on developing a relationship with Juneau. And of course Betsy is a huge help. June-bug has really started loving Aunt Betsy, and that makes things easier also.

I think the hardest thing about having both girls so close together is that i really want to just totally dedicate 100% of my attention to each little girl. I am finding it very hard to figure out how to give each one the love they deserve. Sweet Nova is just amazing and wonderful, and she loves her mama so much. Everytime I look at her she breaks out into the hugest laugh, and I just want to play with her all day. Litte June-bug, on the other hand, isn't quite so enamoured with her mama yet. I give her totally devoted one-on-one time all morning long, and so far she has been tolerating me, and even enjoying playing with me at times, but by the end of the day she has reached her limit and just wants her dad. Bonding with Nova came so easily, and with Juneau it is certainly more work, but i know it will be worth it in the end. I love sweet Juneau so much, and I am anxious for the day she learns to love me back.

Cris has adapted into the role of Daddy so wonderfully. He actually seems to be handling the stress of our new life better than me! He said that even though things take about 10 times longer than they used to (like when it takes an hour to get everyone loaded up for a 10 minute trip to wal-mart) he just thinks "what in the world would i rather be doing than spending time with my girls". And it's so true. When I feel like I have spent all day at home, and still got nothing accomplished i remind myself of that...is there anything else more important and wonderful than being with my daughters?

It still amazes me to look around my living room and see two tiny, beautiful little girls (as well as wall to wall baby stuff!) We are blessed beyond belief with these precious babies. Each day gets a little bit easier as I learn how to juggle life with 2 kids under 1 year. I am finally starting to be able to set aside the feelings of having to take care of 2 kids, and learn how to just enjoy being with them. It is certainly not easy, but definately worth the work!