survivor...

yes, it's me. I survived the 8 mile run from downtown Honolulu to the Aloha Stadium. it wasn't pretty, but i lived to tell the story, so i guess that's better than the alternative. It took me about 2 hours (my athletic hubby did it in just over an hour) but i made it. I ran the whole thing, although somehow people who walked the whole thing still beat me. that probably tells you a little something about my pace. Today i am very very sore
To make matters worse, today is also my first day back to work after vacation. it's so hard. i am also 'on call' (which means i have to stay in the hospital all night), making my first shift back a 24 hour shift. which really is no fun at all. needless to say i'm in a pretty grumpy mood. but i guess i can't complain. These days there are limits to the torture residents have to take, we are limited to no more than 36 hours in the hospital at 1 time, and no more than 80 hours in a week. The 'old-timers' tell stories of 48 hour shifts and 120 hour work weeks. next year will be much better though, as i will be past the 1/2 way point.
Adoption news has been scarce, obviously. However, today my case worker did call. They have 2 infant boy referrals, and she just wanted to be sure we didn't change our mind and want a baby boy. The little guy she told me about is only 3 months. But we have been pretty set on a girl since the beginning, so i told her we would keep waiting. The referral process is so strange and unpredicatble. I thought our dossier would have to be logged in to get a referral, but i guess not. i'm not really sure. anyway, you may remember from a post awhile ago that they supposedly had 2 baby boys, and 1 girl (6-8 months). Anyway, somehow it turns out that the little girl wasn't really there. or maybe she was there but she got referred to another agency. i really have no idea how these things work. anyway, they only have 2 baby boys, no girls right now. However, they are supposed to be getting baby girl referrals in March. So we will see if that actually happens. With each month things just keep getting bumped to the next month, so Maybe March really means April. Who knows.
I joined this yahoo listserve for vietnam adoption. some of you are probably members. It gets really intense at times. Right now the discussion topics have been about agencies that require a cash donation to orphanges, and if that is unethical based on the new guidlines. Call it naive, but i guess since we jumped right into the adoption world, without really knowing anything or anyone who had done it i never even considered the idea that an agency might not be ethical. trust me, now i have been looking at everythign i can find because i am terrified by the idea that my baby girl might not really be an "orphan", and the idea of her birthmother giving her up for money is terrible. it actually makes me almost sick to think about it. It is such a tricky mess, i can't even straighten it out in my head. Anyway, I believe my agency is ethical (but then again, who doesn't?) and i don't think they would do anything wrong knowingly, but i think some people can be sneaky.
any insight on this?