Day 121 / 75 To Go: Attention 45 to 55 year old woman who is obviously not with a child of any sort and clearly not disabled...

Posted by: Cris

...you are not the "Family Restroom's" target audience.

Spending 2 hours preparing your hair, make-up and outfit for a simple trip to the grocery store, as you've clearly done, does not necessitate a private bathroom to do your business and reapply your blush. As you nudge ahead of me into the Family Restroom, leaving me standing outside trying to convince a 2-year-old that she can "hold it" for a couple more minutes because you have an eyeliner emergency, I can promise you that the prospect of you having to enter the women's bathroom with the rest of your gender is not nearly as horrifying as me having to resort to taking two toddlers into the infinitely nastier men's bathroom, finding a stall where the toilet has actually been flushed since the last time the Cubs won the World Series and kneeling on the floor in what must clearly be mostly urine while simultaneously trying to help one child balance on 2 clean square inches of toilet seat and prevent the other one, in what she perceives as an attempt to be nice, from picking the scraps of toilet paper up off the floor to throw in the garbage can! The women's bathroom is the Garden of Eden compared to the post-apocolyptic wasteland waiting for me behind the door of every men's restroom on earth. And even if there were enough soap in the world to neutralize the Andromeda Strain incubating in the men's restroom, the fact that the soap dispenser and the paper towel holder will invariably be empty means that my ability to get into that restroom before my child can no longer maintain bladder control might be the only chance of avoiding having to nurse a toddler through projectile vomiting the day after tomorrow. I am quite certain that the creators of the Family Restroom did not care that you think you are above using the facilities with the rest of the peasants when they designed their masterpiece.

Now that you've done this to me more than once, I felt like I needed to bring this to your attention.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.